Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick. I am not a crusty crab... Tech Support |
- Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick. I am not a crusty crab...
- I just had the most adorable conversation.
- No, your IP Address Being 'corrupted' is not the issue
- not that sort
- "This would be easier if there was an off-button." "...There is an off-button!"
- "Your software update is incompatible with this thing you told us not to install because it's incompatible!"
- Short and sweet...
- "Can you make it less pixelated?"
- You actually have to give me the Device.
- A View to a Kill
- Fax Errors, why are my faxes not faxing faxer than this
- mirror, mirror, on the wall
| Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick. I am not a crusty crab... Posted: 25 Apr 2018 08:22 AM PDT User: Hi, is this the HR Department? Tech: No, this is the Help Desk. Is there... User: Hi, is this the HR department? Tech: You've reached XYZ Help Desk. This is... User: Hi, is this the HR Department? Tech: No, do you need their... User: Hi, is this the HR Department? Tech: No, but I can get you their number. User: Oh, good. So, I have this HR ticket and I need help. Tech: Let me get you transferred over to them. User: No, don't transfer me. I'll get disconnected if you do that. Tech: I can give you their direct line if you'd like. User: No, I need your help. Tech: How can I help you? User: I have an HR Ticket, and I need help with ... user describes problem. Tech: I don't have access to look at HR Tickets - I can give you their direct line, an email address, or transfer you to them. User: Is this the HR Department? Tech: No, this is the Help Desk. The user is still calling on and off [link] [comments]  |
| I just had the most adorable conversation. Posted: 25 Apr 2018 06:14 PM PDT I started doing tech support for my community in Houston. A lot of people are getting back into their homes and need help with new equipment being issued that was destroyed during hurricane Harvey. Yeah, some people still ain't back in their houses. The tech support I run is very minimal. I can help connect devices to the internet and so on so forth. This is important because I live in an "older" area. These people retired here. Not very tech savvy, but I can work through that since I don't have time constraints and I'm doing this for free. This lady brightened my day. I gave her my google voice number after letting her know I'm gonna need model numbers for the devices she was having issues with. She called and gave me a list of model numbers for things that weren't working. Well then. I didn't expect that to actually work. We try to troubleshoot some of her satellite based TV box issues, which all led to call satellite based TV company because this is beyond me and I'm physically 2.5 hours away. We go to her PC issues next. It wont connect to the internet. She got a new modem, so its likely she hasn't connected it to her new AP. No big deal deal.
I walk her through the windows wifi setup and the password keeps failing. After 3 trys I'm fairly confident she's not messing this up, so i tell her we are gonna try the push button method to make this user proof. On the way downstairs to the modem, she asks if it has to be exactly what the sticker says.
I was laughing with her the entire way back to the computer. She put in the correct password and everything worked perfectly. Got her connected to the internet and she was way more excited than she should have been. Normality is nice, I can respect that. Did the same process for her phone, got her off of mobile data. She was overjoyed. Every bit of instruction troubleshooting she took in stride. Checking connections, resetting things, making sure things have power. She was a joy to deal with and kept thanking me for not treating her like an idiot.
I know you guys mostly run corporate stuff with angry users. I don't want any bit of that. If I can help a grandma from 150 miles away over the phone using google to look at port layouts, you better believe I am going to do it. Shes happy now because she is connected. Side note. I informed her I was gonna record the call for my use. I have the audio of this all. I plan on listening to it later. TLDR: I spent an hour an 10 minutes helping an older lady get her PC connected to wifi. % == 0/0 She was an absolute doll. [link] [comments]  |
| No, your IP Address Being 'corrupted' is not the issue Posted: 25 Apr 2018 07:34 PM PDT Context: I work as tech support in a university computer lab. TL;DR: customer refuses to believe file format systems is a thing and blames savings files to a NTFS issues on the University for having IP Addressing problems [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 25 Apr 2018 11:14 PM PDT head down, trying to draw data maps (oh, so i AM responsible for GDPR, thanks for the notice), and i am aware that a large gentleman is standing over me. Do you get people "hover"? We are pretty small, and we don;t have a ticketing system, so generally people email me, if it is urgent phone me, or if they think they are important just appear over me, silently, assuming that i will give them my immidiate attention whatever i am doing. No idea who this is, but he has come in, got past reception, across the building and is right next to me, bellowing "are you richardex - they said you were the person i need to see". "Uh, ok, what can i do for you?" "They said you were the person to talk to about windows" "i guess so - whats the problem?" "i am here to wash them". [link] [comments]  |
| "This would be easier if there was an off-button." "...There is an off-button!" Posted: 25 Apr 2018 01:49 PM PDT I'm tech support for my family and friends and can, on occasion, work magic with DVD players, but I'm also an "if it doesn't work with my first three attempts, I'm hitting it with a hammer until it does works again" type of person. The only reason anyone lets me near their tech is because everyone else in the family is worse with it. Unfortunately, I tend to forget that my family is as bad with tech as they truly are. On to the story. Mom (M) calls me on the phone because there is a problem with the TV.
I've had three or four conversations with her that begin with this sort of opening and, since I lived with my dad at the time and didn't own a car to get to her, over the phone was the only way anything was getting done.
At the time, my mom had Uverse and I know exactly three things about troubleshooting Uverse. Turn it off and back on, yank out plug once and yank out plug three times. I start explaining which plug she needs to pull in the cable box (no HD so there are rca cables, the power supply and a coax). While she's presumably staring at the back of the box in perplexed horror she muttered:
Stop the presses!
Facepalming so hard because now I can guess what's wrong.
Deep deep deeeeeeep breath.
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| Posted: 25 Apr 2018 02:02 PM PDT $Software - The software we support. $Program - A program that is not in any way related to or built by us, but one that we provide an integration for that a lot of customers like to use. It's an alternative financial program that a lot of people use alongside $Software. $IdiotClient - Self explanatory. Long story short, $IdiotClient asked us if they could go ahead and upgrade their version of $Program. We explained that the newest version of $Program is not yet compatible with $Software. $IdiotClient says that's ridiculous and that they wanted to upgrade $Program anyway. We basically told them we weren't responsible for what happens. Yesterday, this happens (paraphrased).
TL;DR: Don't do the thing we told you not to do and then get mad when shit breaks. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 25 Apr 2018 04:27 PM PDT Customer: Hello, ISP. I'm a belligerent communicator and our internet has been down for 2 days. When are you going to fix our internet? Me: We reviewed your issue 2 days ago and determined that your problem lies within your private network and contacted Steve regarding this issue. We're seeing port 0/2 down as if nothing is plugged into it. Customer: I have no idea what you're talking about. You're saying I need call my corporate IT department? Me: ......yeah. What's their number? I can tell them exactly what's going on click Me: bring bring, Hi, Corporate IT Department. Can you please check to see if your cable is plugged in. No? It's not? ....You're seeing the internet is back up for that site now? Ok, thank you. Bye. tl:dr; Customer's business operations dead in the water for 2 days because a cable came unplugged on site. Customer had in-house IT and didn't call them first. [link] [comments]  |
| "Can you make it less pixelated?" Posted: 25 Apr 2018 04:42 AM PDT Hi everyone! Obligatory FTP, LTR. (edit a added line) I run a micro business, I mainly do graphic design, marketing concepts and layout editing but because of my love for PC gaming and knowing my way around a good troubleshoot, I naturally offer rudimentary tech support to some of my clients. While technically not a tech issue, it was definitely a user issue... ...I recently acquired a new graphic design client (lets call them $booshdoof) and all was going well until the delivery of my clients proofs.
I think to myself, 'OK...that seems odd maybe something happened to the vectors when I saved them in Illustrator.' I go about opening the files, zooming in until "I cants zooms no more!" (Popeye the graphic designin' man toot toot). Nope, as smooth as the moment I clicked save. I naturally email my client back.
$booshdoof then sends me a screenshot (taken by phone), it is indeed pixelated, and my internal monologue begins my self doubt as an artist. Was it my tools failing me? Was it me? I begin redesigning each part of the design that was shown to be pixelated, every line, every vector is beautiful, clean and crisp. Both test prints and on screen, everything looks flawless...so I email back...
I open and watch the video with that feeling of contempt one gets while one humours a client....when I see a familiar wording at the top of the screen.....PHOTOSHOP....AH-HAAH! GOTCHA! I email back:
$booshdoof replies:
sigh [link] [comments]  |
| You actually have to give me the Device. Posted: 25 Apr 2018 03:24 PM PDT Wrapping up a month at the walk up The case of "Hands Free Phone Setup" U for User M for Me U: Do you guys put email on my phone? M: Sure can I gestures for phone U: Cause I was here like 2 weeks ago and the guy didnt help me. I've been at this desk for a month and I've never seen you before in my life. But Okay. M: Alright but I kind of need gestures for phone again U: So can you do it or not? M: Sir, I already said I can do it so can you -gestures U: What? What?! mimics my gesture what do you want? M: Sir I actually need the phone to- U: You know what? I'll come back when its someone different. M: Oooh Kay. Have a good day, sir. Tech takeaway for the Day: At least he wasnt asking me to violate basic IT Security policy. Bonus: Answering an Unasked Question U2 for another User U2: So the 2 factor doesnt come on for my second email address I have access to. M: Alright what's the email address? She gives it to me. M: Okay, I've put in the ticket to the relevant team. They'll contact you if they need more information. U2: So to get access to my emails outside the network I have to login. Then go to my phone. Approve. And then I would be in the email. Cut down for time but that's essentially what she said with me going "mhm. Yup. That's how it works. Yes." U2: So you're not going to answer my question? M: Maam, you didnt ask me a question. U2: So that means you cant fix it? M: I've done all I can ma'am. I have neither the knowledge or the permission to fix what could just be a simple switch. U2: If its just a switch why cant you do it now? M: I said it could be, not that it is a simple switch. U2: Well you're no use then. Tech Koan for the Day: How does one answer an unasked question that lives in the mind of the asker. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 25 Apr 2018 02:16 PM PDT I am a designer. Y'know, the guy the business folks like to tell "I don't care how it works, just make it pretty." And yet somehow, I'm seen as the tech support guy in the office (and at home, and at parties, weddings, baseball practice...) because I "work with computers." I also think it's partly due to the fact that I can read and comprehend things. 10 minutes ago, another designer (who is my age but dresses like my teenager) came over to me and said he was having trouble with his software, could he get some help? Sure thing Dudebro Designer (DD) I come over and he's got the software open at least... DD: "I want to view the layer groups but the column went away. I don't know how to get it back." Me internally... Dudebro is either an idiot or the software has a major bug I've never seen... let's see what's behind door number 1 Bob! So I lean over, grab his mouse, roll his cursor ever-so-gently to the top of the screen where the View menu is, then deliberately scroll gently down to the currently unchecked "View Layer Column" item... and then hammer the hell out his mouse button while looking him in the eye. After dying a little inside... Me: "Fixed!" At least he thanked me. TL;DR - Dudebro can't be bothered to actually open a menu and now I have Duran Duran stuck in my head. [link] [comments]  |
| Fax Errors, why are my faxes not faxing faxer than this Posted: 25 Apr 2018 01:13 PM PDT I hate formatting it like a story but I will try. ME: ITGUY HER: SuperHOT SuperHOT: Text msg: we have a stack of errors on our fax machine ITGUY: Sure be right there, I make a ticket and head over ( yes I make tickets if its a text) Dont judge me! Sees the stack, its all busy signal and line fail errors which indicate something on the other end. So I test our machines, they work perfectly. I call one of the problem recipients: phone call errors out Call the other error #, fax machine answers. Send a fax. All good ITGUY Texts back: tested machines all working perfect, problem on the other end. SuperHOT: ALL OF THEM?? IT GUY: they were mostly to the same recipient, their phone is having trouble. SuperHOT: NOT ALL OF THEM. ITGUY: I told them to re-try the couple that were not. SuperHOT: I dont think it was the other person on the entire stack, you have to do something. IT GUY: you want me to go to Denver Colorado and work on their fax machine, you'll have to pay for the ticket. Because other than that I cant fix someone elses fax machine. Plus the error code is Line busy, wouldn't retrying the fax be cheaper? SuperHOT: No Answer::: [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 25 Apr 2018 06:03 AM PDT Hi. LTL. FTP. English is not my primary language so forgive me for any big mistake. I'm enjoying TFTS stories for a while, so I think why not share mine. This one is a short one that occurs yesterday. For a bit of context, I'm currently working as a Linux/Unix system engineer/devops/wathever in a medium sized company that does hosting for customers. Sometimes we manage everything for them, sometimes nothing, sometimes a little bit of it. My team is responsible for the OS part mainly. Among all the technologies we provides, we have the luck to manage zvm linuxes. For the happy people that don't know what it is, it's a virtual machine running inside a $BigBlue $zsystem. It's a real pain in the arse, because when it's running, you can manage it through ssh like a regular Linux, but if the system is down, you need to manage the vm from a mainframe console. So here we go. $me will be ... me $cw will be one of my coworker. It's monday morning and I'm the first arriving in the office. The reason is because I'm the one that is designated for this morning operational duties. The way it works here, is that everybody takes this role with a pre-defined schedule. So I'm arriving this bright morning and start the routine. First thing to do is to check the monitoring console and sort out alerts. Most critical systems are monitored 24/7 and we have a night duty that handle them (we also all take this role). For the rest, it's up to the daily operation duty. You allways have more alarms on a Monday morning, because of the week-end where only major issues are managed. But this time, a lot was there. Part of them was due to a Disaster Recovery Test that happened during the week-end. Seems the teams forgot to put hosts in maintenance mode in $bigbluemonitoring. Not too bad, this happens all the time. After cleaning the false positive, among other problem we have $vm1 that is not responding. Generally not a good sign. First thing first, a little ping from my workstation (sometimes it's the $monitoring system that just go wild). No response. Crap. I open the $passwordmanagerapp and fetch the information for this vm. Now fire up$terminalapp. This application let us connect to the mainframe and run operations to start the machine for example. This is where the fun begins.
This is enough to power up $vm. I see the lines coming up with your usual boot sequence.
So yes, the screen doesn't scroll automatically, you need to hit a key combination to scroll. If you don't do it, the OS just hangs until you scroll to the end.
Ok vm has started great no big deal. Close the $terminalapp. Crap.... So yes, another caveat of this thing : if you just close the $terminalapp, the vm crash. Here we go again, rince and repeat (login, password ....). But this time $vm doesn't start automatically. This happens, you have to enter a command in the terminal.
Ok now $vm start. Again, scrolling manually, blah blah blah ... $vm is up again. This time, don't screw it up $me, just disconnect cleanly. But how do you do that you will be asking $me ? Easy peasy, just type #cp disc in the terminal. With the pound sign. Attached to the cp or it won't work. That's the way $BigBlue can detect that you launch a command to the hypervisor, not the vm from which you are on the console. Just do it. Except .... I type #cp disc on the terminal. And what is displayed ?
Yes everything is reverted. WTF ???? I try anyway to hit enter but it's not working. That's when $cw have the brilliant idea :
And yes it did the trick. I type csid pc# on my keyboard, #cp disc does appear on the console and I can logoff cleanly. And it was just the beginning of a long day.... edit : formating + correction of gross :) [link] [comments]  |
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