Guy who lied on his CV Tech Support |
- Guy who lied on his CV
- You mean it doesn’t detach?
- It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one!
- Thanks TFTS for helping me with this ticket.
- I need a VM!
- The Enemies Within: You mean my username.. is my username? Episode 128
- I can't access anything on the network (part 2)
- Legend of the Thunder Gods Revenge.
| Posted: 03 Jun 2021 12:54 AM PDT We had a guy join our IT team, only 5 of us for a company of about 1000 around the country. He was meant to be an escalation point for myself and another member so we didn't have to go so high up for help. dude was so bad I couldn't believe it. he didn't understand how AD worked or 365 or anything. He shipping out laptops without power supplies, he's setting up phones without MDM on them, he's creating accounts on the wrong domain... he spent like a day changing the settings on an iPad so it looks "pretty" and "easy" for the users (despite our guide telling us to STANDARDIZE as much as possible to provide easier support). Anyway this is the funniest one. A user had a problem with her printer so he went to the user and checked on her PC. He decided to image her PC. slightly disgruntled, the user logs back in an hour later and the printer is still not working... she politely logged a ticket asking for help. He walks over there and tells her she doesn't know what she's talking about and that she is not IT! >:S GRRR he checks the printer, no messages, he checks the PC... GRRRR he images the PC AGAIN. walks away and leaves for the day. leaves a note in the ticket saying that he has imaged the PC and that the user is annoying?? wtf?. User cant print the next day at which point he escalates it backwards to me? (he is meant to be senior to me by about $15,000). User had just been selecting the wrong printer as our printers are not easy to identify by names... (fixed that). printed and was success. she then asked about her acrobat pro which i had to reinstall, reset her account password and login, some macros for excel needed to be set up, she spent the rest of the day getting her bookmarks back, and getting the PC back to how she liked it. felt bad for her, at least she hadn't saved work on C: because he just imaged it without even asking her lol! [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 02 Jun 2021 10:13 PM PDT I had been working for a certain fruit based tech company in front line support for about 6 months, and had just started taking computer calls after months of mobile calls. Call comes in. I greet the customer and gather basic customer info. Then I ask the reason for the call. Cast: Clueless Customer (CC) Me Senior Advisor (SA) CC: so I got this brand new MB Pro as a gift and it's not working. Me: what is it that's not working? CC: well I saw the commercial on TV that showed I could turn my computer into a tablet by detaching the keyboard. I heard a crunch and it never separated. Me: (crickets) Me: what commercial? CC: yeah, the Pro commercial. It shows you can remove the keyboard and just use the screen. Me: sir, we don't have anything like that. CC: yes you do, there's a commercial. Me: sir, the only thing like you're describing is the new Surface Pro made by Microsoft. We're not Microsoft. (the Surface line hadn't been out long when this call happened) CC: but it's a Pro and my computer is a Pro, so that's the same. Me: No they're not. CC: Well what can I do? Me: Well you're going to be looking at out of warranty repairs due to accidental damage. CC: But why should I pay? It's a Pro and the commercial is a Pro. Me: Let me talk to a Senior Advisor HOLD SA: Thank you for calling the help desk, my name us Advisor, how can I help you? Me: Are you sitting down? (Laughter) Explain the crazy situation and more laughter ensues. SA agrees to take call knowing this is one of my first computer calls and I think just because it's so bizarre. I have no idea how this turned out. All I know is that the guy wrecked a $1300+ computer simply because he didn't know that my company and Microsoft are two very different companies. Good times. This was about as good as the guy who somehow managed to delete the Phone app from his phone. [link] [comments]  |
| It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one! Posted: 02 Jun 2021 07:05 AM PDT I was just about to take a sip of coffee when my boss busted into my office.
So I started to walk into the printer room. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified. But I pressed on, and as I made my way past my coworkers a strange calm came over me. I looked at the display on the printer while it was printing a roll of white labels. "Printing 1 of 1," it said, happily spitting out label 500 or so. And then it hit me, once the printer detected labels the software took over and sent everything to the printer as a single unit, after which it did whatever it was told. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all cranky things, but I tell you, at that moment I was a printer technician. I grabbed a pair a scissors and a roll of tape and snipped a few white labels off a roll. Three, to be exact, the number needed for the calibration step. I taped those labels to the end of a roll of black labels and loaded it into the printer. The air was heavy with anticipation as one by one, the white labels spooled through the printer. And just before the black labels hit the sensor, the display read, "Ready." By rights it shouldn't have worked. But just this one time, it did. TL;DR: Pulled the solution out of my ass. Edit: Removed some errors, inserted others. ETA: I have no idea what inspired a client to stealth their labels in the first place. Sorry, everyone, that mystery must remain unsolved. [link] [comments]  |
| Thanks TFTS for helping me with this ticket. Posted: 03 Jun 2021 12:53 AM PDT I got a ticket last week, thanks to this sub I was able to r cognise the issue and offer the correct fix before I finished reading it. Here's what I think the ticket said, let me know when you ok now the issue and solution: "Hello, I have a problem with my tablet, it keeps typing random letters when I plug it into the classroom dock. This only happens in Classroom X. Please can you help as it is affecting my lessons. Teach" Thanks to countless IT stories of periphials having things rested on them I was able to quickly respond, asking the user to check the keyboard connected to the dock and make sure nothing was lying on it, causing a key press. There was a book lying on the keyboard. Fixed, ticket closed, back to updating laptops. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 02 Jun 2021 05:10 AM PDT So this is "technical support for University students" who didn't get their way with University IT. Backstory time. I work in IT Security and run my own home lab, complete with Dell R730s (Virtualized - ESXI), Firewall Appliances, and proper switches, routers, etc. Anyone who's been to my house is aware of this. They've all seen the rack at some point or another. $Friend = Master's student researching memory analysis. (Er: Also more of an acquaintance that I tolerate.) $Me = .... Some random dude, probably not important. $Friend: "Hey, you've got a home lab right?" Me: "Yes. Mostly running expensive VMs that I use for dev testing and corporate stuff. Why do you ask?" Friend: "I need a large VM. University won't give me what I want." Me: "What are you asking for? They've got lots of spare resources specifically for grad students doing research papers." Friend: "16 cores, 48GB of memory, 2TB of SSD storage and standardized networking." Me: "OK, that's... excessive. What could you possibly be doing to justify that kind of resource usage?" Friend: "Memory analysis research. I have 150 memory dumps at 4.5GB each." Me: "Using Volatility? Your ask is very excessive for that use case. What did they give you, 4-6 cores, 8-16GB of memory, and a TB of storage?" Friend: "8 cores, 16GB of memory, and 1TB of storage." Me: "I'm somewhat confused. That's more then enough for you. What exactly is wrong?" Friend: "I don't have root on the VM, and I don't have enough resources." Me: "Well - you do have enough resources. But I would ask them for root if you need it." Fast forward a couple days and they won't give him root to install and use specific programs. Instead they gave him permissions to run those programs as sudo. He's upset and still harassing me about it. (I can't do anything about it though). Me: "Here's a VM in my network. Here's a VPN login to my network. There is an ESXI server <here> that you can access with this set of username and password. I've built you a VM on that server that you can access. It's username and password is <another set of credentials>, and root is <root credentials>. You don't have permissions to anything else." Friend: "Resources?" Me: "That's about the max I can assign you, and is line with what the University gave you anyways. I agree with their assessment for your needs, even that's probably a little overspecced." --------------- Next day: Friend: "Hey, I broke the VM I think. It's always complaining about permission issues." Me: "Did you change the permissions on the file structures?" Friend: "Yeah, I kept getting permission issues. So I did recursive chmod 777 on "/" as root." Me: *Internally - Are you fucking kidding me right now.* Me: "Yeah - I'm not fixing that. Have you got a backup of your data? I'll reset the VM and you can reinstall the OS." Friend: "No backup of the data. Deleted it off my local machine, taking up too much space. Me: "*very frustrated. Builds new VM. Loads disk, retrieves data. Wipes old VM." Me: "Don't touch file permissions if you can't figure out what you're doing. Run your python scripts, build your dataset for this. Monkeying around with the VM is just wasting a lot of your time and my time." A couple months later (laziness), I get a message. "Hey! I'm done my thesis finally. Took a while to get the analysis done on the hardware. Thank you!" Meanwhile, I get stat reports from ESXI on resource usage. The VM spent over 90% of it's time alive reasonably inactive. (I'm not sure why he didn't just tell his python script to work through the list of files in a structure, but whatever.) [link] [comments]  |
| The Enemies Within: You mean my username.. is my username? Episode 128 Posted: 02 Jun 2021 07:12 AM PDT (As usual, all identifying information changed.... EG: that ain't the user, or password) 7:47am. E-mail. NetworkEngineering Queue. "I can't login to the Fax system. My username, and password don't work. User: cfraiser Password: &Outlander8 Here's what I have them set to." Great, someone forgot their username. No big deal, easy to fix. So I try to reset their password to what they had.... And it won't let me. Turns out, the password they thought they had, was already there. "Hey Claire, I set your password to &Outlander9, try it again." .... it didn't work. Upon closer inspection, their username, cfraiser, had been reset to Claire Fraiser Fax. Further conversation with the NOC person related some rather important facts about what happened. They had been given a personal fax number, and they edited their user to add the fax number. "I didn't know changing my username would change my username". This person has admin access. And I can't remove it. [link] [comments]  |
| I can't access anything on the network (part 2) Posted: 02 Jun 2021 07:01 AM PDT Part 1 if you need a refesher I originally started to post this the next day but didn't for reasons...so that's why it reads a little weird. What an interesting day yesterday was.... (a little backstory) The local mangler was the former owner of this business that our company bought. They still do things their own way and bitch loudly when we try to get them to comply with how we do things. They came with there own IT "Genius" that could do ANYTHING and they don't NEED our IT services...except when they do. I don't agree with the way they do things but they are 1500 ish miles away and we don't get down there terribly often (espcecially since the end of the world happened) On to the conclusion...well...maybe the middle. Not sure yet. As I was looking up flights I was able to get on a conference call with our CEO, CIO, and the local guy. The local guy immediately started in on how our IT department sucks and his guy is SO much better and if we would just let him have access and and and and and. Picture the old cartoons where the characters face keeps getting redder and redder until they finally let off the steam whistle...that was me. I BLEW the f$%k up. I started yelling at him and came really close to getting myself fired. I was NOT nice. After I got everything off my chest I felt better. Then it was time to get down to solving this. After I looked up flights from the midwest to the south east and started adding in car, hotel etc I figured out what my base budget was. We made a list of what needed to happen, what equipment was critical and what could wait until someone was able to get down there. I called down there to a local MSP and actually was able to negotiate them to move the equipment over to the new building (it's a block down the road) and temporarily run patch cables to get everything up until someone can get down there and permanently get things installed. Internet access will be at least a week and a half so I had the MSP go to the roof of both building and see if they could see each other. I was in luck and they used two Ubiquiti NanoBeams to get them up and running until the new circuit can be installed. They are up and running for now, it looks like crap but it works, and I still have a job. (Still working fine a week later.) [link] [comments]  |
| Legend of the Thunder Gods Revenge. Posted: 02 Jun 2021 03:35 AM PDT Hi Everyone, My first post here this story came to mind today and I wanted to share it. For some backgroud, I work for a software company who also provide Support for the customers who use the software. The following actually happened to a colleague, who I will call Alex. Part of our Support model is to provide Support remotely by dialling in to customers PCs. On this fateful day Alex was connected to a customers Server PC trying to resolve an issue. As you can imagine the rest of our system is reliant on said Server, if it goes down the whole system goes down. Unfortunely the issue Alex was trying to resolve was rather tricky, and he was starting to get frustrated. As time passed this frustration grew. There's one other thing I should mention about Alex, and that is that he is actually the Greek god of Thunder Zeus. As his frustration boiled over into anger, he decided to take drastic action. He called upon the heavens and summoned a bolt of lightning to smite the Server. This, of course, completely destroyed the Server which resulted in the Customers system going down. As You've gathered at this point that the above might not be strictly true, but this is the tale that the customer tried to weave to us when they called the Service Desk. What actually happened was that a lightning strike nearby had caused the power to go out in the entire area, which of course took our system down along with it. When the power came back up, the Server did not automatically restart (OS management, and hardware support was not in our remit so this was not our responsibility in any case) so they could not access our software when their PCs came back online. We were already aware of the powercut after another customer in the area called a few minutes prior with the same issue, fully aware that we did not control the weather. We explained to Alex's customer that the issue had occured due to a powercut, caused by Unfortunately the customer did not accept this explanation and insited that Alex had caused the lightning strike in an effort to bring their system down. Thats right, the customer accused Alex of controlling the weather. At this point the call had run its course and we re-iterated that we needed access to their Server to perform a health check, which the user refused. We explained the risks of us not doing so but the user hung up. At this point we were hoping that customer would escalate the case via email to management (as was the procedure) so we would have this lunacy in writing, we planned to frame it. Unfortunately for us such an email never materialised, and thus the Legend of the Thunder Gods Revenge was silent foever, until now. [link] [comments]  |
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