Computer needs an update? I'll just buy a new one! Tech Support |
- Computer needs an update? I'll just buy a new one!
- Gave management a cause to fire him.
- "You're a global admin! And YOU'RE a global admin! Everyone is a global admin!"
- The Game Master
- "Why won't my computer turn on?"
- of scales (part 4 and final)
- Switched the switch and saved Christmas
| Computer needs an update? I'll just buy a new one! Posted: 28 Apr 2020 09:15 PM PDT I work in the tech department of a major retailer, and had this wicked experience today. The customer here is a man, roughly 50-60 years old. Me: "Afternoon sir! How can I help you?" Customer: "I'm just looking for a new laptop." M: "Maybe I can help! What happened to your old one?" C: "It's about a year old and keeps telling me it needs to be updated." M: "Oh? Is there something wrong with it, or does it just need an update?" C: "Yeah, it needs to be updated. It's old and outdated now." M: "Ok... What sort of things do you normally do on it?" C: "I mostly go on Facebook and work with Microsoft word and Excel, nothing crazy. I'm looking for something cheap, they need to be updated so often that I'll never understand these $400 and up machines." M, thinking: If that's all he's doing and it's only a year old, it really shouldn't be running terribly slow or anything... M: "We have plenty of cheaper laptops here, but if you don't mind me asking, why do you need a new one? If it only needs to be updated then you can do that." C: "I'm not sure what you mean... It DOES need to be updated. That's why I'm here, to get a newly updated one." M, Realization dawning: M: "Sir, when it says it needs to be updated, it means the SOFTWARE needs updating. The computer itself doesn't need to be replaced." C: "... I don't need to replace the computer...?" M: "Most likely not." C: "..." C: "..." M: "How many computers have you gone through...?" C, looking very dejected: "... Four or five now..." M: "... If you need help updating you could bring it in and I'll help you out with it." C: "I...I think I'll do that. Thank you." The customer came in later in the day and I helped him through a Windows update without an issue. Yes, he feels stupid. Yes, he is very unhappy at how much money he has wasted (threw out the old machines). Yes, he's glad I opened his eyes for him. This was less painful and more so just... Sad. Some people really struggle with this stuff. [link] [comments]  |
| Gave management a cause to fire him. Posted: 28 Apr 2020 11:48 AM PDT At an old job, I was the only IT guy. I had just started working there, this sales consultant who also had a bigger title (I don't remember what the title was as it was long ago) I really had no idea what he did for the company. He was always up in his little office. The CFO did not care for him, that was apparent. ME: ME / CFO: CFO / SG: Sales guy. One day a few weeks after starting, SG goes to lunch. CFO: Hey can you go pull his internet history from his computer I have a suspicion on SG. Me: Umm sure, I guess. Walked over to his office, the computer is locked. At the time there was not a password policy. I knew that he probably never changed it from his start day. So, I tried the new hire password, and I was in! I then ran a history tool that pulls everything from your browser and puts it in a Spreadsheet. Locked the computer and made my way back to my workstation. As I was walking SG appeared. Gave him a nod, he gives one back. I sit down an open the Spreadsheet. Nothing bad, but he also worked as a consultant and he was "running his side hustle" during office hours on a work computer...Looking at my findings, I take it to the CFO's office. Me: Well here is what he has been up to, as you can see here are the sites he has been visiting. CFO: Okay, that's all I need you can go now. Me: Well, what are you…. CFO: You already know the answer to what you're going to ask. Me: Well, guess my work here is done. Within the hour I see SG, being led out of the building. Just another day in tech support. [link] [comments]  |
| "You're a global admin! And YOU'RE a global admin! Everyone is a global admin!" Posted: 28 Apr 2020 05:54 PM PDT Got a ticket last week asking for a hold on an account. Unfortunately, the type of hold requested requires a particular license, which the client has never needed, and thus does not have available for use. No worries! The request is sent to the account manager to discuss with the client. Maybe they'll upgrade, maybe they won't. Today I see a new request to remove the licenses currently assigned and apply different ones. Cool, looks like they upgraded. During assignment of licensing it is discovered that there are multiple admin accounts for us to use. Sigh. Hit up the decision makers and determine which account should be the global admin, as we can't have all of them due to a limited number of licenses approved. Go in, assign the license, hit the checkbox for global admin rights... ...and there it is. A glorious alert pops up letting me know that everyone, literally EVERY employee, has been granted global admin rights. Now, admittedly, I'm a total noob in the world of IT, but even I know that ain't right. Hit up the boss, who immediately tells me to check the audit logs. Going back as far as I'm able reveals that this has been in play for a while. No idea who did it, nor what will come of it, but someone has a tough conversation coming their way! [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 28 Apr 2020 07:31 AM PDT This is an old story (Netware 5.1 IPX old), but still funny. I was working as a network administrator at a medium sized hospital system (4000 computers total, 500-ish that I was responsible for) that was in the middle of a hardware refresh. We were putting out 200 or so new computers. We had a script that would load up the correct software on each computer, but we had to manually set up the network connections and such. The problem was that company policy required that we remove the games that came with Windows. I had created a batch file to do this, but techs kept forgetting, requiring us to hunt down the computer and fix it, so I decided to just automate the procedure and add code to the login script to check to see if games existed, and if they did, to remove them. I added a log function to the script to record the (user name/computer name/date/time) more out of habit than anything else. I checked it a few times just to make sure it was still working, and everything looked good - all the user names were IT staff setting up the computers before sending them out. Some time later I just happened to check the log and noticed something weird. Minesweeper.exe was being removed off of the one computer every weekday, with the same user, a lab manager. At first I thought it was a bug, then I realized that he was re-installing the game every single day. He was manager level, same as me, so I just let it slide. IT was doing what we were supposed to do. How he spent his time was his concern, not mine. This changed 4 months later, when we had a problem with the lab software. Our analyst, in trying to fix it, actually made the problem worse and basically cost them a day of production. (Computer wise - the results still got out, it just took longer and everything was on paper until the system came back up) It was an honest mistake, but this lab manager went ballistic and complained through the director level all the way up to VP before it came back down to IT that our mistake had "cost them valuable time." The analyst got chewed out by our IT director so he could cover his own ass. Ahhhh, hospital beurocracy! This didn't sit right with me. The analyst didn't work for me, but she did work with me, a lot, and she was good. Then I remembered the log file. I went back and checked, and sure enough, minesweeper was getting deleted every day, like clockwork, right up to that morning. After a brief pause for the obligitory evil laugh, I composed an e-mail to the guys Director and VP (remember - he was the one that decided to get the VP level involved with this, not me) saying that since they were so concerned about the "valuable time" that was lost, one way to help make up some of that would be to stop installing banned software on hospital equipment to play games. I also helpfully included a copy of the log showing him dilligently reinstalling the game virtually every day for the last 7 months. They guy didn't get fired, but the problems from the lab quieted down immediately. Don't mess with the IT department! [link] [comments]  |
| "Why won't my computer turn on?" Posted: 28 Apr 2020 07:40 AM PDT Okay. This one is a biggie. The cast for this story is SC - Stupid customer SM - Stupid manager Me - Me The story goes like this. SC calls my call center and I pick up, and the conversation goes as follows: Me: "Hi, this is me from (Insert tech support company here), how may I help you today?" SC: "Hi, my computer won't turn on, can you fix it?" Me: "I am sorry to hear that, what was going on before you turned it on?" SC: "Well I was building a computer for my boss, and when I turned it on, nothing happened." Me: "Could you explain where everything is?" SC: "No, I have no idea what this stuff is." Me: "Could you get your boss on the phone?" SC: "Yes" SM: "Hello, who is this?" Me: "This is me from (place), could you tell me where everything is on the computer?" SM: "I don't know." Me: "Okay, How about I arrange a visit to your place?" SM: "Okay, can you come to (place 2) at (time)?" Me: "Yes." I was mad because my shift was almost over and I had to go handle a client. I arrive and I see nothing wrong on the outside (No clear case) So I disassemble the system and I see it, thermal compound all around the motherboard and CPU socket. I say: "Okay, you are not supposed to use that much thermal paste." SC: "FIX IT!" SM: "Fix it, please." Me: "You have fried your motherboard because you used this thermal paste with metal in it" I know if you have ever been on this subreddit you know what just happened. The thermal paste touched some of the metal contacts on the motherboard and, it killed itself because it had power. Me: "You can't use these parts" *points to CPU, ram, GPU, and motherboard.* "As well as these cables. " *points to ATX cable, and EPS cable.* That's the end. Thanks for reading my first TFTS post. Edit: Fixed dialogue, hoped this was better, thanks for the upvotes! Edit 2: I know I am kind of new to reddit (1 year under my belt) but thanks for the upvotes! [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 29 Apr 2020 03:29 AM PDT TL;DR: none. how can this be too long. $me: obvious $cw: "please sit down" on business chat: $cw:"You never guess what happened" $me:"Humour me" $cw:"The scales application has been approved" $me:"Wait wut? Just approved like that, everything working, no hiccups?" $cw:"Yep, connect the thing, start the application and after a few seconds it starts spitting sensible information. No errors, no strange messages or whatever." $me:"So it has been the vendor software all along. I guess replacing the shared comms library with something developed in this century helps then?" $cw:"Yep, I guess so." And so by replacing their old cruddy software with something slightly less old and cruddy we can sign this one off. [link] [comments]  |
| Switched the switch and saved Christmas Posted: 28 Apr 2020 04:18 AM PDT This story is quite a bit older, but it deserves to be written. . Me: Backend Dev and sysadmin of a company Company: Mid sized company with newspapers in a specialized industry, recently acquired 9 Petabytes of old articles in form of pdf in a database. After a long and cold day, I sat down on the couch in my family's alpine hut, and checked my emails. [Server 1 lost connectionl] [Spammy Mail] [Your Amazon Order] Okay, my order is on it's way, that is spam and that is ..oh no.. I proceed to quickly SSH into Server 2-i am able to log in but then get dropped out. [Server 2 lost connection] First thing I thought was "Rip my job, we finally got hacked, we're still in the mass epidemic of crypto viruses, and this company is quite a target." Not good. I proceed to login to the router remotely. Both servers are disconnected, the NAS'ses carrying the database are online-but not responding. All computers-but one-are offline and all printers offline, too. Not good. One additional NAS is constantly switching between offline and online I reboot the router, hoping it's just a network drop off-but nothing changes. Not good. Not good at all. This wouldn't be less of a problem of it wouldn't a) be the night before Christmas and b)I Not 500km away from office and the only one with an access key to the perimeter. [link] [comments]  |
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