"I don't need a 'Desktop', I need a CPU!" Tech Support |
- "I don't need a 'Desktop', I need a CPU!"
- Business brought to its knees by stale pastry
- Please Check the Red light on the machine!!
- "the previous guy did this, didn't he?"... "yes"
- "It doesn't seem to work!" "I know, it's not meant to."
- There's Your Problem
- Please don't turn off my internet... I am not your ISP.
- A Love Story Between $SecuritySoftware and Barcode Scanner
- Backdoor Accounts.....
- Attributes. ATTRIBUTES. ATT. TRIB. BUTES.
- I need more space in my Microsoft...
| "I don't need a 'Desktop', I need a CPU!" Posted: 30 Apr 2019 10:22 AM PDT So this just happened and... *sigh* I work for a Department of Defense organization just outside the D.C. area. It's an extension of the Pentagon so our customers are either Military or Federal government. That being said, relatively few of them are particularly tech savvy, which leads to conversations like the gem I just had. Me: "[Organization here] Service desk, this is (my name), may I help you?" Customer: "Oh hi yeah, I need a new computer!" Me: "Okay ma'am, and the justification?" Customer: "This one I got... it just old, it don't even take the new windows update y'all pushed (which is a legitimate reason to request a replacement machine)" Me: "Okay ma'am, Desktop, Laptop, or Tablet?" Customer: "Huh? None of those, I just need a new box." Me: "Oh, so a desktop?" Customer: "No sir, I need a... Customer, to colleague in background: "Hey what do I need?" Customer's colleague: "A CPU" Customer: "Yeah I need a CPU" Me: "Okay ma'am, we have Tablets, Desktops, and Laptops, I just need to know what kind of Computer you're requesting." Customer: "I got my monitors on my desk I don't need no new desktop I just need a new box!" Me: "... ma'am," Customer, to colleague: "Ma'am can you get over here, I'm confused as Hell," Colleague: "Oh hello sir, my colleague needs to replace her old Dell Optiplex," Me: "So a new desktop." Colleague: "No sir, it sits on the floor." Me: "... ma'am, the position of the computer is irrelevant. These are called desktops." Colleague, exasperated: "Okay then yeah that." After this lovely exchange, I take a bathroom break and return to find my Lead giggling incessantly, escorting me to our manager's office, who's usual "ugh" look is replaced with a shit eating grin as he proceeds to play back both the entirety of the call, and then the customer complaint from the two callers who claimed I was rude. My Lead and manager however both laughed this off, and now I'm back at my desk taking lunch and wondering how these people even use a machine without it blowing up. [link] [comments]  |
| Business brought to its knees by stale pastry Posted: 30 Apr 2019 06:26 AM PDT I had posted one of my two favorite tales from tech support story yesterday. Here's the other. Same time frame (2003-2004), the company I worked for did the computer work and maintenance for the performing arts theater in town. It was largely a volunteer staff during the day, made of retired folks who were generally not tech-savvy (relevant later). So one day, we get a panicked phone call that the ticketing system at the theater is not accepting orders. I was over there within 15 minutes (it wasn't far), and started in on the problem immediately. It was not a huge environment, maybe 8 PCs and a server. I was still getting to know the system, and it turns out the ticketing client software is only installed on one PC. So this being the single point of failure, I knew where to look for the problem. It only took me a few seconds to realize there was something wrong with the computer accepting input from the keyboard, particularly the Enter key. OK, I breathe a sigh of relief. This will be an easy fix. All I have to do is swap out the keyboard and I'll have them up and running again, right? Well, it turns out I didn't even have to do that. I then realized that the whole problem was that the enter key wasn't being depressing at all, and that explains why the ticketing software wouldn't accept any entries. And then I discovered exactly why. There was a rather large blueberry muffin crumb that had somehow worked its way under the enter key. Clearly, someone had been eating a muffin over the keyboard and the crumb had wedged itself in such a way that the key wouldn't press down. I had mentioned the staff was largely comprised of elderly people and on this day, the person in question manning this computer obviously didn't make the connection that the Enter key was physically not working. Just that "the system isn't working." I still have no idea how a crumb manages to fall so perfectly and harden at just the right angle to prevent a key from being pressed down. So I popped the Enter key off, removing the offending stale pastry piece, and the keyboard works again. Hooray, they can sell tickets again! I take the conundrum crumb into the theater manager's office, show it to her and explain exactly what happened. Her eyes stare at me in disbelief for a minute before she just sort of sunk her forehead into her hands, shakes her head and mutters "shit" quietly. She looked up at me then and started laughing. They were able to do business once more, everyone was happy and I was on my way. TLDR: Theater staffed by technology unsavvy retired people can't sell tickets to their shows. The problem turns out to be the Enter key on the ticketing computer is blocked by a large muffin crumb that prevents the key from being pressed down. [link] [comments]  |
| Please Check the Red light on the machine!! Posted: 30 Apr 2019 07:41 PM PDT So I work at a Copier dealership. So this dealership sells a variety of copiers, printers , and fax machines. Now I work in the copier help desk(Call me HD) and I am usually the first line of defense in any customer call with issues on a machine. (ex- scanning , printing, errors in faxing , or if the dispatcher cant figure out what caller is on about.) This happened a while back. So I get a call in my call back queue one day, indicating that the Customer (CU) is having a melt down that her POS copier is always broken down. And demanding to speak to a tech or have one dispatched. So I do my diligence and check the Copier's history and notice that the device has only had two requests for service since installation at the location. I call the CU. "Hello, this is HD for Copier Company. " CU " Hello , Please tell me your the tech coming out to fix my machine!" HD"Sorry , Ma'am Im the help desk." CU " Jeez Christ, I just want a Tech to come out NOW. It is always broken down!" HD"Yes ma'am, but we do need more info. So that a tech with the correct parts can be sent." Cu" Arrrh! Fine! What do you need?!" Hd "Can you tell me if there is a msg on the screen of the device?" CU" No." HD "Is there a Red light flashing on the device?" CU "Yeeesss. Thats why it is broken!" HD ' Have you pressed the button above the red light?" CU "No." HD "Could you press the button above the red light on the control panel" CU "What for? The red light clearly shows that the machine is broken!" At this point Im just grinding my teeth. HD "Please ma'am. This will tell us what problem the machine is having and have the tech dispatched with the right parts. Just press the button labeled 'Check' " CU " OK. If this will get me my tech faster. " HD " Yes. Please." CU " ok. what now?" HD " The errors on the machine should so next to the function having the issue. Which functions have a msg other than OK, and what are the msgs?" CU " MMMMMM. the Fax, copier, and printer. Show the msg 'No Paper' " HD " OK ma'am. Have you filled the copier with any paper today?" Cu " No. Because it is always broken." HD " Ok, ma'am. Do you have any paper? and can you get some?" CU " Yes. I don't see the point though. but fine!" I'm banging my head now on my desk. Cu " Ok , I have it." HD " Please open all of the paper drawers and fill them with paper." Cu " Ok, Done" HD " Close all of the drawers." CU " OK" After hearing her close all of the drawers with loud slams. CU " Hey! Some thing is happening!" HD " yes ma'am. The device should be starting to print." CU " IT IS!" HD " Great!. You don't need a tech now." CU " So the machine just needed paper!" HD " Yes ma'am." CU " All I had to do was check the red light?!" HD " Yes." CU " F***K!" HD "Sorry ma'am?" CU " I'm so sorry that I yelled at you and I'm sorry." HD " No. worries ma'am" Cu "Thank you." HD " Have a good day, bye!" Moral of the story. CHECK YOUR S**T. And be a little less brain dead. HD out. [link] [comments]  |
| "the previous guy did this, didn't he?"... "yes" Posted: 30 Apr 2019 07:01 AM PDT So after about a year hiatus, I rejoined my company as the full time systems administrator. I was working for them as a contractor in the interim to try to get a handle on my mental health issues. Yesterday was my first official day back and it was filled with the usual stuff: giving myself a punch card, setting up my workstation, etc. Right at the end of the day $salesperson, who is actually pretty cool, approached me and said he needed help with his computer. Perfect, I'm happy to help out, it is my job after all. I go to his computer and find that it's completely locked up and the monitors are in standby. Do the standard, "you don't have any unsaved work, do you?" and power off the machine. I pop it open and immediately see the problem. I ask "so did $oldsysadmin build you this computer?", to which the answer was a yes and that he noticed the same problem, but didn't say anything or touch it because it was working. Have you guessed the issue yet? The machine had the graphics card resting on top of the bracket that secures it. The computer got jostled and the front of the card (where the bracket is) had partially lifted out of the PCI slot. The kicker: the computer used tool less installation for cards. You literally push on some springy plastic to release it. Reseated the card correctly and booted into windows. Had to reinstall drivers, but the card itself was fine. Now I worry about what other computers $oldsysadmin built... [link] [comments]  |
| "It doesn't seem to work!" "I know, it's not meant to." Posted: 01 May 2019 01:03 AM PDT Quick one, just happened. So as someone who works for a school IT department, i had this lovely exchange with our adorable but flustered exam officer (EO) about an exam submission, that i had recently dropped into one of our subject heads (SHead) Recently, the exam boards have been enforcing that all submissions are on a password protected USB. The way we've started doing it, is by password-protecting a ZIP file on the USB stick. This required a 3rd party program to encrypt it, as Windows doesn't natively support this functionality. Enter EO:
EO leaves, and i shake my head at how useless SHead can be... 15 minuted later
Proceeds to open the zip file, enter the password which i grabbed from an email both EO and SHead forwarded me, and successfully open a file
We made a bit more smalltalk, EO seemed happy that the USB was formatted and encrypted successfully, and i went to type this story up on reddit and start drinking my 3rd coffee in an hour. EDIT: Fur Matting [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 30 Apr 2019 08:12 PM PDT I work as a Salesforce Administrator. Which, in reality, means I work as an admin 3 hours a week and an architect/consultant/counselor 57 hours a week but am paid an admins wage. I have no room to complain in the grand scheme of things, but this is the place right? I got hired on as the sole admin for an umbrella company. We have services from title to insurance to private wealth to tech. How? Well, it's rather simple. The umbrella company purchased 8 companies at once... For anyone who has dealt with the tech side of an M&A process it can be an absolute hell hole. There are architectural decisions like merging databases and production software that is complicated by similar but different processes and all but ruined by politics and egos. Multiply it by 8 and you know why I cry myself to sleep. ANYWAYS, I came on as the 4th admin in line. The first was an executive assistant who tried to learn the system and support from that angle. They did well, but it was too much of a work load and understandably so. The 2nd came and left within a few months (suspicious but not unheard of with my role) and the 3rd was incredibly incompetent. When I came on the team was (and is) very friendly to me. They let me keep my remote status even though I moved to be closer to the main user group and did well supporting me as I began doing user introductions and started cleaning the mess that had been left for me. About 2 months in I noticed an oddity. Every company works differently but I had not been introduced to a CIO or anyone who was involved with data management. Everything went through my boss who is VP of Sales. That was fair enough - he was in tune with the various merged companies and is very competent in his industry and sales knowledge. Yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss. His technical knowledge was often times mediocre and communication was often scarce save a weekly check in for my project list. I began to get frustrated. He would ignore my advise on some pretty fundamental best practices and had a "don't care make it work" approach without heeding any warnings. I had to start strategically laying out my meetings and having pre meetings with people just to get a fair response formulated prior to bringing him in for the real consultation - then fighting to ensure we followed as close to best practice at possible. Not directly in response, but needing something larger to make Salesforce into an effective tool I reached out to the CEO. We set up a meeting and I learned a bit more about what he wants and where his frustrations are. It was a resounding success! They approved my recommendation to provide a Chatter free license (free communication tool) to everyone in the company and support it with incentives and internal marketing. SCORE! They asked what I needed to make Salesforce awesome. I started where it all should have started and asked for a complete employee list, inventory of the current systems used by each merger, and what person or people are in charge of coordinating these systems. His Executive Assistant took the reigns and gave me a response today (paraphrased).
Bigger than it seems. They had been fighting with HR for this list for a while now. HR was reluctant to provide a list, even to the CEO, on accounts of them needing to "update their systems." This caused a lot of friction, of course. While I don't know how much my request really played a part in this I was happy to hear we were over that hurdle as a team.
This put me at unease. Nobody just had one? Shouldn't their CIO, or whoever, have SOMETHING like this? Why is this a fresh project 3 years after the acquisitions were finalized? Don't tell me that...
Oh, no. You mean the guy who advocated against the service agreement TWICE now? The guy who rolled back a month of development because one user gave a complaint and he didn't talk to me first? The guy who tells me to "save the technical and break it down simple"? Who offered autonomy but needs included on "scoping" calls? That guy? That guy. In his defense, he is a truly kind guy and very competent as a sales leader. But, coordinating a merge of this size with someone who blanks out looking at a simple data model calling the shots is absolutely terrifying. Suffice to say, my work is cut out for me. I have 5 or 6 key leaders I need to identify and coordinate with, while getting buy in for the system and coordinating the merging of the other systems all without any knowledgeable authority on data governance. It's a great exercise in peer leadership but I fear for the hard times ahead. I hope that this project I scored with the CEO will get me a little more trust and attention to try and make things work - but without someone who knows this stuff calling the shots it's going to be a fight every step of the way. Wish me luck! [link] [comments]  |
| Please don't turn off my internet... I am not your ISP. Posted: 30 Apr 2019 09:50 AM PDT Quick one for you guys. Call comes in from frustrated user because apparently are turning off his internet.
Total lie you can totally save it in the middle.
He sends me an email and sure enough at the top is a notification from his ISP about scheduled maintenance. I try to tell him that this email is from comcrap and that this is scheduled maintenance for 2 hours from now. I explain how he has two hours to relocate to a starbucks and continue working.
He hung up in a huff and I just shook my head at that one. [link] [comments]  |
| A Love Story Between $SecuritySoftware and Barcode Scanner Posted: 30 Apr 2019 11:19 AM PDT As a preface, I work for $HealthCareCo, mainly monitoring security alerts that come in from endpoints and our firewalls. Pretty much a SOC, but we do a fair bit of other things on the side as well. One of these things on the side is occasionally whitelist peripheral devices. As we dabble in healthcare, we must ensure that all information travelling with our users in the field is encrypted - phones, laptops, and external storage. On the flipside, this means that occasionally, we'll have to whitelist a camera, or something similar, so that the computers won't try to encrypt the things when connected. Enter the star of our show - humble Barcode Scanner. A lot of barcode scanners use a wireless USB stick, or a wire, to connect to a computer so they can dump the scanned barcodes into excel, or whatever. Not Barcode Scanner. Barcode Scanner didn't roll that way - he had his own 1 megabyte of internal storage to save whatever he scanned. You then connect Barcode Scanner to the computer after you completed scanning, and got the data off of him afterwards by way of a specialized piece of software. Immediate red flag - $EndPointSecuritySoftware ($EPSS) wants to encrypt the scanner...but Barcode Scanner only has one megabyte of storage. $EPSS cannot even begin the encryption because there isn't enough storage. So, the end user submits a ticket.
Simple enough. I add Barcode Scanner to the list of approved devices and close out the ticket. A few hours later, the ticket reopens.
Wait, what? I check $EPSS, and sure enough - blocked. That's odd. I open up a remote session with the end user and confirm that $EPSS wants to encrypt Barcode Scanner, and on top of that, the specialized software used to pull data from him isn't working. I quickly open a ticket to our $Vendor that supports $EPSS. The $Vendor tech is as confused as I am. Barcode Scanner is clearly in the whitelist of devices that are approved to not be encrypted, but the computer is blocking Barcode Scanner from dumping the data into the user's PC. So we call up the user, and have Barcode Scanner delivered to us in our office. Tiny thing. No more than two inches long, half an inch wide and about the thickness of an iPhone 3GS. Came with a cable to plug into the PC. I get on the phone with $Vendor now that I have Barcode Scanner in my hand, and I quickly notice that, even though he's plugged into the computer - he isn't scanning. At this time I was not aware that the cable was only used for charging. The conversation went somewhat as follows:
A quick uninstall later, and I plug Barcode Scanner back into my PC.
I pause. No, there was no manual, but in theory, there should be. A quick google search and later, I can see it. There is a manual for Barcode Scannner - so I start reading it. Pretty standard. Handheld, easily portable, comes with a 2 meter charging cable... Wait. That says Charging Cable. I quickly unplug Barcode Scanner from my PC, and hold it up to my dollar water bottle. I click Barcode Scanner... "Ping!" Son of a gun why didn't we read the manual sooner.
Barcode Scanner is write protected because you're not supposed to scan barcodes when he's plugged in. The specialized software cleans out Barcode Scanner when he's plugged in, and then saves the data in the computer. I quickly email the end user and I let him know what's going on. We agree to temporarily uninstall $EPSS from his computer for testing purposes...and Barcode Scanner still isn't working. At this point we get Barcode Scanner's vendor involved, who believes that Barcode Scanner is corrupted, and will send two new ones free of charge. Two new scanners arrive, and the End User tests them out.
Relieved, I close out the ticket, and the ticket with $Vendor. We both have a sigh of relief, and then I remembered something.
...I don't think I want to know. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 30 Apr 2019 04:28 AM PDT So I will try to keep this as anonymous as possible due to security reasons but after having gotten 5 tickets from the same person I can't help but post them. I work on for a company as a Tier 2 to Tier 3 support for the installation. So my department handles the tickets that the Tier 1 Techs can not figure out. But over the last week we have gotten a number of tickets in from someone who is studying for his Sec+ and I guess thinks he knows more than us seasoned veterans working here. The $user keeps opening up HIGH Priority tickets concerning being backdoored into which is concerning to say the least. So I go to look at tickets and they say: $User ticket 1 Please take a minute to view attachments After weeks of observation and comparison it is to the user's belief that either the Domain, company, and Outlook is being back doored with elevated privileges. There are multiple users that have recently gained special permissions to my outlook account and desktop. I am concerned that the individuals may be able to send and receive files without permission. (I am attempting to harden my desktop). I also screen captured the modification resolution scripts on my inbox along with unauthorized users permissions for outlook, and desktop properties. I am unable to deny permissions to users on my outlook and desktop user property Unsure of the magnitude of breech and accounts that have recently shown up. See attached documents. Will update daily So I go look at his computer and see no malware or suspicious activity. The accounts the user is concerned about are local admin accounts that all computers for this company have on their systems. So I jot that down in the ticket and then close it. He then opens up a new ticket the very next day: $User ticket 2 After weeks of observation and comparison it is to the users belief that either Domain, Company, or Outlook is being back doored with elevated privileges. There are multiple users that have recently gained special permissions to my outlook account (I am attempting to harden my desktop). I also screen captured the modification resolution scripts on my inbox along with unauthorized users permissions in outlook properties. Unsure of the magnitude of breech and accounts that have recently shown up. See attached documents. I jot down the same thing again and close the ticket again. He then reopens the very same ticket on Friday as a High Priority ticket. Which I start to get to on Monday morning when I show up to work. This ticket goes on to say: $User ticket 3 Brief description: Request Desktop support or Cyber Branch check for remote log-ins and remove unauthorized accounts off of this workstation. since February 2019 until now I have been annotating unauthorized client access and account manipulation. I have also provided screen shots that I use to compare with other desktops in my AO. Again User request all unnecessary accounts be removed from this workstation So I finally responded back to this individual yesterday afternoon after a deep dive into his system and his account. The following is response is what I sent to him after getting very frustrated with him. $Sysadmin response The attachments showed old user accounts in outlook and local admin accounts that our Company Desktop administrators use when accessing systems on the domain. All domain workstations will have the same xLA and defaultuser0 accounts, the other accounts are listed a S-1-5-21-xxx which relate to users that no longer have accounts in Active Directory but have at one time used this workstation. Since the user is no longer found Windows will list the account as a reference number vice name. It's impossible to figure out who belongs to those old accounts and should not be a concern and we see no need to purge old accounts off systems as they get removed when systems are reimaged. The original workorder you submitted mentioned a breech and the fact that you're attempting to harden your desktop. These two things are concerning. I looked at this system's records on the HBSS console and did not find anything that leads me to believe that your system is infected or a risk, in fact this system is fully compliant with all required security tools and McAfee updates. I did note that you were attempting to launch MMC.exe last week and would like to know what your intentions were. System security and network security are areas that the CS Division is tasked to perform. I'm still interested why and how do you think that this workstation is targeted by a backdoor action so that we can perform a forensic investigation if necessary. I really hope he responds back because at this point in time I am really frustrated with him. [link] [comments]  |
| Attributes. ATTRIBUTES. ATT. TRIB. BUTES. Posted: 30 Apr 2019 04:59 AM PDT Here's a ticket that just got escalated to me, in its entirity, by an actual Karen. So 1st line do their usual thing, and punt it over to 2nd line with a "any idea what Karen is on about?" tech-only comment. Second line then spend the entire morning playing email tennis with Karen to try and work out what she wants. She's not on site, and isn't answering her phone as she's at a conference.
This could refer to at least 5 systems we run. Karen has access to all five. A different 2nd line steps in.
That's where 2nd line gave up, and I step in. I've phoned and left a voicemail, bumped her call down from a P1 (which warns you 3 times before you log a ticket that it is only for urgent, site-wide issues, not requests, and will send alerts to IT and Finance managers) to a P3 and placed on hold until she can tell us what she wants. I've also sent her an email, BCCing in my boss, explaining all the above, and re-iterating the gist of my voicemail - we cannot grant your request without knowing what you want. I fully expect any of these 3 things by the end of the day: [link] [comments]  |
| I need more space in my Microsoft... Posted: 30 Apr 2019 12:07 PM PDT (TLDR at bottom of post...) I'm a regional sysadmin that supports local users in the office that I work out of, in the South, and the users at a couple of remote sites in the Northeast. While I was out to lunch, I get a voice mail message from one of the remote users stating that "I need more space in my Microsoft." No other details. I tried to call but kept getting a busy signal, so I IM him and tell him to submit a ticket to get more mailbox space allocated to his account, which is the typical problem that I hear about related to not being able to get emails due to space. (That is handled by different sysadmins in our corporate office on the West Coast and is something I do not have access to.) He then calls me and says he is running out of space and can't get any email. I repeat my instructions to submit a ticket and he insists that it is a different problem, so I get him to share his screen with Skype for Business and he shows me an error message from Outlook, stating that he had no local disk space available to pull down emails into his local .ost file. I spent 15 minutes with him telling him that he needs to delete files to free up space on his hard drive, and I get the standard "I can't delete anything. I need everything on my computer." I repeated that I can't magically increase his HD space from my remote location. I did show him how to enable compression in Windows, so he could free up some space, without deleting files, and then saw a folder with someone else's name followed by "BACKUP". I asked him about that and he told me that was a backup of the previous laptop owner's files and that he would ask if that could be copied to some space on the network, if it was still needed. He said that he would check on that, and it could probably be deleted. Short of the compression setting, I don't know what this user wanted me to do. It was like he wanted me to add hard drive space to his laptop, magically from hundreds of miles away. This guy is an electrical engineer and should know some basic facts like how to manage HD space on his own machine. TLDR: Hard drive was full on remote user's machine. User complains that he can no longer receive email and needs help interpreting an error message that clearly stated that his HD was full. He then wants me to magically increase the capacity of his HD from my remote location. [link] [comments]  |
| You are subscribed to email updates from Tales From Tech Support. To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
| Google, 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA 94043, United States | |
No comments:
Post a Comment