"can't you make my computer stop smoking???" Tech Support |
| "can't you make my computer stop smoking???" Posted: 31 Jul 2021 07:06 PM PDT Not my story but my brother's. So a long time ago we worked together at a call center that outsourced for a major shipping company (has brown trucks, three letter initials). We provided tech support for the shipping software the company had created. There were two versions: one was for light volume shippers (small businesses, etc) but had to use their own PCs. The other was for high volume shippers and we supplied the PCs and on site tech support if we couldn't fix it over the phone. These supplied computers ran Windows 3.11 so yeah, old school. One day my brother gets a call from a high volume shipper. I sat near him, so I could get the gist of the call. Shipper: my computer won't stop smoking, there's smoke pouring out of it. Bro: sorry this is happening, we'll send out a ticket to get field support to replace it Shipper: NO! I know there's a command you can enter on the PC to make it stop smoking. You will tell me now! Bro: I'm sorry sir there is no command you can type in to make a computer stop smoking. Needless to say this back and forth went on for another TEN minutes. My brother was annoyed so to shut him up he hatched a clever plan. In Windows 3.11 you can alter it's state by adding commands to files autoexec.bat and others. This can be used to startup programs or prevent them from starting when the computer reboots. You can stop these commands by typing "rem" before it,so it tell Windows to ignore the particular command. So here is what my brother does. Bro: okay sir, you're not supposed to know this trick so I need to swear you to secrecy. Can you be discreet about this? Shipper: yeah, yeah, just tell me. Bro: okay. If you go into autoexec.bat and type "rem c:\nosmoke.exe then reboot, it will stop the computer from smoking. Shipper agrees to do this but ends the call as the PC was on the other side of his building. My brother and I have a good laugh, calling it a 1D10T error. As luck would have it though, five minutes later the call center gods blessed my brother by getting the same shipper back on the phone at random. My brother recognizes the guys voice instantly. Bro: thank you for calling (shipping company name) this op brother, how can I help you? Shipper: yeah we spoke earlier about my computer smoking? Yeah it's still smoking so send out the tech. Bro: I'd be happy to, sir. My brother sent the ticket, and concluded the call. Needless to say we had never laughed so hard. I have more from this place, but that will be for another day. [link] [comments]  |
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