Somehow I don't think a "Caution: Exploding Hard Drives" sign will really solve this one Tech Support |
- Somehow I don't think a "Caution: Exploding Hard Drives" sign will really solve this one
- Sometimes my hubby farms me out for tech support
- Score one for the good guys
| Somehow I don't think a "Caution: Exploding Hard Drives" sign will really solve this one Posted: 31 Aug 2020 06:57 AM PDT Back when a disturbingly large amount of people liked IE and even used it by choice, I was working for a company that manufactured large metal things. We had been hard at work at a major IT infrastructure upgrade. It had all the usual trappings of such things: gripes from the users that dislike change and would just like DOS back thankyouverymuch, gripes about the color of the new icons, gripes about everything. The IT team had been working hard at this thankless job for a long while but it was getting to us all. Part of the project was replacing hundreds of PCs with newer models. This was resulting in enough hard drives to destroy that our previous destruction method was overwhelmed. So we had to find some other options. We didn't have the time or space to do something like DBAN on hundreds of PCs, so we needed something better, and fast. I had recently been promoted to my first managerial position, and I applied my "employee empowerment" lesson and let my tech team brainstorm about how to destroy all the data on those hard drives. I had expected ideas about e-waste recyclers, etc. But no. EVERY idea involved using large, dangerous machinery out in the manufacturing area. Some of them carried a risk of death, and my team was most excited about those. "Would an hour in {EXTREMELY HOT INDUSTRIAL OVEN} destroy the data?" "What if we dropped them into {VAT OF DANGEROUS CHEMICAL}?" "Or better, what if we THREW them into {VAT} and watched {CHEMICAL} splash all over the place?" Laughter from the team. Grimace from me. "Maybe we could use some spare wire and build ourselves an eeeeeenormous electromagnet and wipe them that way!" "How about the acetylene torch?" "Maybe throw them at {LARGE SPINNING EQUIPMENT} and watch them get chopped to bits?" "Nah, the bits would fly all over the place." "EVEN BETTER! We could SWEEP UP our hard drives when we're done!" "How about bats like in Office Space?" "No, AXES would be better!" "What about the welders? Surely they could pulverise them somehow?" "No, the ROBOTIC welders! We'll program them to destroy the drives!" "Or maybe the laser cutters?" "Could we put them in a big pile, douse them with gas, and just light them all on fire?" You can see this was going downhill (or uphill, depending on your perspective) fast. Perhaps they were also enjoying making me squirm, particularly when they started with the pseudo-realistic ideas involving chainsaws. One of the PFYs ("pimply-faced youths", the youngest members of the team) ran off to go talk to his buddy on the manufacturing floor. This buddy was a jovial, burly, cynical, tattooed, leather-wearing Harley rider who would LOVE to use expensive corporate equipment to smash other expensive corporate equipment to bits. Probably even more than the techs that had been listening to upgrade whines for 6 months. I liked the guy and the PFY, but I feared that the combination of adventure-seeking tech and danger-seeking equipment operator would get out of hand -- and if we weren't careful, someone might lose theirs. Eventually when the techs ran out of steam with the ideas, I laid down three ground rules: 1) Nobody gets hurt 2) Data must actually be destroyed 3) Must be fast Before too long, PFY returned with an ENORMOUS smile on his face, carrying two hard drives with large holes in the middle. "We tried it on the {ridiculously large} drill press, and it cut through them like putty!" "What's this white liquid on them?" "Oh that's the cooling liquid the drill automatically sprays on the things being drilled to keep from overheating." PFY and the rest of my team excitedly scampered off to the drill press to drill more holes in more drives. I went over and watched a few with, yes, a smile on my face also. But it all came crashing down when they tried the press brake. Our press brake was used to basically fold massive sheets of steel. I'm not talking thin sheets like tin or something. This was thick, hard steel, and it folded it like paper. My techs (or perhaps their equally-entertained friends in the shop) had the idea of putting hard drives in the press brake, and bending them beyond recognition. Unfortunately it transpired that hard drives in a press brake don't bend. Or, at least they don't ONLY bend. They also... explode. Bits of hard drive flew out of the machine and went an I wasn't there to witness, but my team was ecstatic about this effect. Since everyone involved had actually followed the company safety policy by wearing eye protection and so forth, my team got away with a verbal reprimand; same with the equipment operators. But I had to officially forbid the team from using corporate equipment to pulverize magnetic-based non-volatile storage devices. However, managers were only there during business hours, but the manufacturing area ran 24/7 with multiple shifts. Some of my team, including PFY, worked an earlyish shift to help out with early-morning IT issues. I couldn't help but notice that the stack of drives with holes in them was larger each morning when I walked in, and a poorly-concealed grin on PFY's face as he said "good morning" each day. I grinned back and kept on walking to my desk. Better not to ask. Proof: https://imgur.com/a/3Rk43qf [link] [comments]  |
| Sometimes my hubby farms me out for tech support Posted: 31 Aug 2020 06:27 PM PDT Being the tech go-to guy, I usually get called for tech support for my hubby (whom I have wrote about before) and my sister's family. My hubby does have this annoying habit on occasion of volunteering my tech skills to our friends. This happened over the weekend. I had just got back home from the hospital, I thought I was having cardiac issues (I had a mild heart attack on July 1st) but it turned out to be acid reflux (which can manifest itself as a heart attack.) Note: it happened at my job on Saturday. Well, after I got home from the hospital, the hubby told me that our friend (who we will call L) was having sound issues with with his desktop computer after he had moved it across the street to his new house. The hubby told him that we would stop by after I got done with work. So today rolled around, and after we went to the pharmacy to pick up my acid reflux meds and stopped at the supermarket for ingredients for dinner (pasta carbonara, which I love) we headed to L's house. L is a sweet guy, and he uses his computer to compose music, so obviously he needs speakers for playback. So I pull up his desktop on the screen, and check the audio settings. It said that it was using digital output for the speakers (a nice 2.1 setup,) and when I looked at them, I knew for a fact that the speakers use an analog output. (My computer is the same way, since I also have 2.1 speakers.) So I get down to the tower and check the cabling, and sure enough, the speaker jack was plugged into the wrong output. I corrected it, and then pulled up his music composition program and loaded one of his compositions. Sure enough, music started pouring out of the speakers. I told L what happened, and he said "Well, my brother hooked my computer back up for me." I told him, "He put the jack in the wrong damn hole." L: "Oops. I knew you could figure it out." (Note, I had provided tech support for him before when he was trying to transfer photos from his camera to his computer, and all he had to do was turn the camera on.) So when I got back in the car (the hubby had to stay there because our Great Dane was in the back seat,) the hubby asked what was wrong. I told him "The jack was in the wrong hole." My hubby with his dirty mind started snickering when I said that. Nothing earth shattering, just another instance of being unofficial tech support. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 31 Aug 2020 08:29 AM PDT Summer 2012, help desk for a large Michigan utility company. Customer: "I didn't receive an e-mail I was supposed to, just a reply to it." Customer hangs up with a snotty "humph". Ma'am, the "power" in "power user" seems to need a recharge. [link] [comments]  |
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