How the FBI destroyed my company’s computer Tech Support |
- How the FBI destroyed my company’s computer
- "Why am I getting an alarm?"
- Don't touch the damn server!
- You have to help convert these image files and you have to do it NOW!
- TIL that the HP Laserjet m477fdn does not come with wifi built in, nor with an Ethernet cable, but it sure does come with a phone cable for the fax machine!!
- Well when am I supposed to do it then?
- Its easy to use our printer... Just use this DOS command from DOS 3.0 ... sure mac sure, anything you say...
- First rule of documents?
- IT won't help me with my problem ( but I won't talk to them )
- Paperclip for the win.
- Thing I actually typed into a ticket, since there is ZERO docs on something
| How the FBI destroyed my company’s computer Posted: 31 Aug 2018 02:24 PM PDT Obligatory "First Time Poster" start goes here. Hopefully my formatting is good! This is a bit long, but hopefully it's worth the ride! (Due to length, I left out some of the standard troubleshooting steps to save time.) Setup: One of my previous positions was as in-house IT for a Fortune 100 company at the corporate headquarters. We had our own in-house call center and I was part of the hands-on support team. When the company first brought me on, my main work was doing PC builds/replacements (on a three-year cycle), none of which was automated. Users were used to a certain level of service, so not only did I have to run all updates, copy data (Oh did I miss Windows Easy Transfer when they upgraded to Win10), and other standard fare for a build, but we also made sure the taskbar was the same, printer defaults were set, etc. For certain VIPs, we even made sure the desktop icons were in the same order. Again, there was no automation in place so this was all done by hand, for a building containing around 900 people. Between builds I would assist the other hands-on techs with the ticketing queue which was everything from "I need batteries for my mouse" to "set up file backup systems for the company and teach everyone how to use it". Luckily the queue was left for us to pick items to our strengths or curiosities and we made sure to keep things pretty even. We had a ticket come in for a user in our Communications department that I got along with well with that I decided to pick up. The ticket was essentially "My computer keeps crashing". --- Cast: ME: You know, the guy with the pants. CU: Communications department User ---
CU lets me hop onto her computer, which is a pretty solid machine designed to make sure all of the Adobe Suite is able to run with ease. After making sure all important work is saved I start closing windows, only to come across the DESKTOP FROM HELL. The user has three screens, all of which are COMPLETELY COVERED with icons. So much so, that the icons are stacked on top of each other THREE LAYERS DEEP.
I spent a little time at this point talking about #NewBackupSolution we were using and how now would be a good time to clear out unnecessary files while she transfers everything to the backup system while I was attempting to recreate the issue. Sure enough, when I would try to navigate through Windows Explorer, it would crash and never recover, leading to a hard reboot of the machine.
At this point I ran through a bunch of cleanup tools we used regularly, attempting to free up space, remove programs that hadn't been used in a while, run any and all available updates, etc. It was a long ride on the struggle bus with Explorer crashing from time to time, and in the end things were no better off than when we started.
Awesome! I hike up my slacks and get the tower disconnected and haul it to the IT Room to start cleaning up. The old drive is removed, a new SSD is installed, the device is imaged, software is installed, and the user is logged in. No more crashing, awesome! But now it's time to transfer that user data. All *checks profile size* 100+ GB of data that is only on the desktop. Woo! I start the backup to my external drive while I'm working on other things, keeping an eye on it to make sure there aren't any failures. Luckily, everything goes through without a hitch! I plug the drive into the newly-upgraded tower and start the process of the data flowing back to its new home, which also ends up being uneventful. I log back in as the user…and Explorer crashes.
I log in with the local admin account and clean out the profile. Logging in as CU again, I'm fine until I complete the data transfer, and then we are back to Explorer crashing. So, at least I have a cause: corrupt data. So now I needed to figure out exactly what it was that was corrupt and causing Explorer to lose its mind. Unfortunately for me, that was more of less "copy data a bit at a time and see if it causes a crash". Joy. Eventually, I got to the broken little bastard: a video file about half a GB in size. Everything was fine until I put that bugger onto the system. Once Explorer tried to read it, the whole system went haywire. I transferred everything else over and the machine was running like a champ. I emailed CU to let her know that the computer was ready and set up some time to get it reconnected. The appointment comes and I get everything connected and verify that it works to her liking.
CU pulls up her web browser and navigates to a site with informational videos posted by the FBI. If I remember correctly, the video was actually about data privacy or something data related, which made the whole thing even more entertaining. And that's the story of how the FBI destroyed my company's computer. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 31 Aug 2018 01:04 PM PDT So this just happened. An end user was configuring his alarm to go off when he got an alert (when one of the sensors I support goes above/below the configured threshold, it triggers an alert. You can then have that alert do things like email you, text you, turn things on or off, ect.) Everytime he rebooted the system, he would get an alarm 60 sconds later. After confirming for me that all sensors were in a clear state (not alarmed), I was unsure why he would be getting an alarm. Remembering it takes exactly 60 seconds for a sensor to trigger, I ask him to send me screenshots of his interface so I can confirm his configurations. Lo and behold, 5 out of the 12 sensors are in alarm states. AFTER HE CONFIRMED OVER THE PHONE THEY WERENT. Fairly easy fix, was able to give him the instructions in a single email. But seriously folks, if your screen is flashing red, dont tell your tech that its all green with an A-Ok symbol. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 31 Aug 2018 07:39 AM PDT Background: So I have a client that we setup with a Hyper-V server with a couple of VM's. It's just a box and a network cable, no need for any peripherals as I manage it through RDP or Hyper-V console over the LAN. One VM is SBS server and another running Server 2008 R2 for some applications. They don't have a server room or really any area to keep IT stuff, so it sits under the far side of the reception desk with a UPS connected. Story: So about a month ago, I get a phone call in the morning.. the server isn't on and the UPS is off as well. Thinking perhaps they had an overnight power outage, I ask them to reset the UPS and power on the server. All is good for about an hour, then pop... UPS quits out and server goes out. Turns out the UPS was fried/glitchy. This time, it's a massive problem. Exchange was halfway through a write so it is screwed and the mail store won't mount. Client is losing their shit, just so happens today nearly everyone is out on site (petrol/gas stations with no phones and they need compliance, safety docs via email) Fast forward 5 hours later, phone calls every half an hour for progress updates..("progress bar is moving, I can't make it rebuild any faster").. I've finally rebuild the exchange server and we're receiving mail. yay. So we're running, but no UPS now. I'm nervous, but I can't get out on-site and the client assures me they'll swing by the local computer shop and get a UPS as soon as possible. ... A week later, I get a phone call from one of their guys asking me how to turn the server on. me: "uh WTF?.. why is it off?" guy: "Oh we turned it off to connect the new UPS" me: "How did you turn it off? How did you cleanly shut it down without having admin access?" guy: "We just pulled out the power cord and plugged in the new UPS" me: **flashbacks to 5 hours of exchange rebuilding** "ARGGH.. don't ever touch the server without calling me. EVER. It's not like a regular computer." guy: "oh shit sorry.. I didn't realise it was such a big deal, I just got told to hook up the new UPS" me: "fuuuck.. I spent 5 hours rebuilding the mail server the last time it was just shut off. ok, well.. nothing we can do about it, press the power button on top to boot it up and lets all hope for the best." ... 5 minutes later, I try the VPN and I get connected.. good start.. Then I RDP and check exchange immediately. It mounted. What a relief. [link] [comments]  |
| You have to help convert these image files and you have to do it NOW! Posted: 31 Aug 2018 11:50 AM PDT I'm the business ops manager for a MSP, and I'm $me: random person. Just kidding, it's me. $Lowman: He's a peon. Low man on the totem pole. Best known for getting a browser hijack while trying to find animated cats for a donor presentation to a large foreign automotive manufacturer. $CFB: No, not college football. Crazy F***ing B***h. She's marketing director and meaner than a dehydrated rattlesnake in August. Best known for postponing a corporate-wide email migration because she didn't realize her multicolor coding label system in Outlook wouldn't transfer to the new Exchange service. Now that you have the cast of characters, here's the story: I was sitting at my desk doing whatever it is that I do and my phone rings. I can see by caller ID that it's $VP and I wait to see if the helpdesk would pick it up. I then remember that I was on helpdesk and rolled my eyes, put my headset on, and answered the phone. It was tough to hear, because $VP was whispering. Yes, whispering. $me: <name of our company> this is $me $VP: (whispering) I need your help, and I need it fast. $me: Oh, hi $VP. Can you speak up? $VP: (only 1dB louder) Is this better? $me: <sigh> Sure. What's up? $VP: $Lowman was on the server looking at some graphics files and corrupted them. I need you to restore from backup ASAP. $me: Uh, explain just a little bit better. How did he corrupt them just by looking at them? $VP: he was trying to look at some of the logo files in $CFB's share and they opened up in Notepad. Now they all have the Notepad icon beside them and we don't want $CFB knowing anyone was looking at those files. $me: I seriously doubt they are corrupted. Let me take a look. Can you transfer me to $Lowman? $VP: no, but I will walk to his desk with my cell phone. $me: <internally: yeah, whatever.> OK, I'll be logging on to his PC. $VP: Hey $Lowman, I have $me on the phone, he thinks he may be able to fix it. $me: OK, $Lowman, show me what you got. $Lowman: OK. <navigates to server share> Look! All these AI files have Notepad icons beside them. They used to just have blank white icons. $CFB is going to think I was messing with her files and she'll freak out. $me: Don't worry, you haven't damaged any files. Look, AI files are Adobe Illustrator files. You don't have Adobe Illustrator installed, so your computer asked you what program to use. You picked Notepad and since it doesn't have an alternative it'll remember you wanted to use Notepad. She can't see this on her machine. $Lowman: so they'll just look like blank white icons on her machine? $me: Not exactly, they'll have Adobe Illustrator icons because that's what she uses to access them. But they won't look any different to her. If it makes you feel better and she's at her desk, I can remote in and make 100% sure. $Lowman and $VP at once: NO!!!!! She's not in, anyway. She won't be back until next Wednesday. $me: <wondering WTF the emergency was> OK, no problem. But just know that she'll never know what you were doing, trust me. Anything else I can do for you? $Lowman: I do have a question if you have a minute. $me: Sure thing. $Lowman: The reason I was in her files was because I have to put together a brochure and I need to know what colors to use for our logo. How can I do that in Notepad? $me: <chuckling> You can't, really. You'll need her Adobe software. But I think I can help you out here. <Opens Google, types in $organizationname branding standards (they're a multi-national nonprofit.)> $Lowman: Really? You're Googling it? Way to make me feel dumb. $me: <internally: well, you know that your organization has very, very strict branding guidelines and you tried to open an AI file in Notepad, so.....> Nah, I just know that $organizationname has pretty strict guidelines, I know they'll have them published somewhere. <click first link, it's a PDF file with a table of contents that directs me to page 33-ish> OK, here are the colors. They give you Pantone, CMYK, RGB, and Hex. What program are you using to create your brochure? $Lowman: Publisher. $Me: OK, you'll need RGB or hex values. $Lowman: Thanks man, you really saved the day. $me: I didn't really do anything. Have a great afternoon! tl;dr: User opens Adobe Illustrator file in Notepad and thinks he's going to die at the hands of an insane marketing director. I talk him off the ledge and the day is saved. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 31 Aug 2018 10:36 AM PDT Anybody want to guess how this story goes? We thought the ports on the switch were disabled. Credit where it's due: the user had the sense to mention that it was probably a piece of shit cable anyway since it didn't quite fit properly in the port. That was the clue we needed to break the case. They don't make two pin Ethernet cables. Secondary related: bout 12 years ago I deployed satellite internet in the middle of nowhere. Put the modem, router and an ATA for voip on the desk so people could plug in their laptops. Believe it or not kids, there was time when not all laptops came with wifi built in. So one day I get a call that it's not working. I go out there and discover that dude was trying to use his dial up modem on his laptop over the voip over the satellite internet. sigh. [link] [comments]  |
| Well when am I supposed to do it then? Posted: 31 Aug 2018 05:26 AM PDT A while back we had a request (well it was more of a demand really) to change the backup time on the database from starting at 2am to more like 7pm. The client reason for this was that by having their network shut off overnight, they could save 1/3rd on network costs. Fair enough. We'll schedule the backup process at 7pm each night. Had a call today from the same client wondering why the database would freeze up at 8pm each night. Of course we explained initially the implications of running a backup on the entire database on being able to use the database, but we explained again. "But this is unacceptable. When I get home is when I need to do my most important work. When am I supposed to do it?" I...don't know? Lady this is tech support, not your diary. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 31 Aug 2018 08:35 AM PDT After 9/11 our IT department is on absolute minimum spend. We didn't really have any .NET developers or any budget for contracting such. I am at a local site helping users with Microsoft Access issues around effectively communicating with the iSeries via ODBC and just general database training. BI tools were rudimentary and expensive at this time. (Before the flame wars begin note the zero budget, if all you have is a screwdriver or a hammer you will find a way to fix anything with it). I am touring the plant and one of the planners comes up to me. He is spending eight hours a day pulling prints out of our PLM (Product Lifecycle Mangement) design solution and also printing off Bills of Material (BOMs) from our PLM change solution and then sorting them in order to put onto the production line. I speak to him a little bit and he shows me the routine and the workflow. I tell him to let me try something and promise to get back to him. Using MS Access, ODBC links to our ERP system, getting a little batch file from the guys using the PLM Design system to allow me to download prints I put together a solution that allows the user to enter some information about the next day's production and then get a package that puts everything in the right order. The hardest part turned out to be printing the drawings as they are PDF's and I have to do an asynchronous call to Acrobat Reader. I ended up putting a delay in the loop so they can slow the program down or speed it up if things are printing out of sequence. I created a form for the user to set the delay. We spent about a week testing and refining and all is well. About a year later I get a call saying the drawings are all printing off on the wrong size paper, standard letter size not the larger folio size that is embedded in the PDF file. I should mention at this point I have a new 'manager' who came over from program management. He knows very little about technology. I speak to the users only to find out that the printer vendor has cycled in new printers based on our lease agreement. So I tell them since I have not changed anything in the code to work with the printer vendor. About a week goes by and things are getting testy. My new manager is now throwing me under the bus and the site is screaming because now they are back to spending eight hours downloading and printing drawings. We end up in the IT directors office. He asks for an explanation and my manager just throws me under the bus again. He also defends the printer leasing company. Fortunately for me the IT director is tech savvy. So when I get my turn I walk him through everything that has transpired and where the true root cause lies. At the end he says that is the best explanation he has heard and perfectly explains the situation. So the Director calls the printer leasing company and we set up an on-site meeting. They are told to bring a technical representative as it is obvious the salesman doesn't know how to resolve this situation. So in this meeting we got through the whole process and how the tool I wrote works and how PDFs are printed. So they jump on the fact I am calling a BAT file and using that to call Adobe Reader to print. The tech guy says all I have to do is use this DOS command first and everything will be fine. He tells me the command and I Google it. Lets just say it is archaic and from what I am reading has no application to this issue. But we are hear to resolve the situation and I agree to test. And it fails. So we prove to them it is in the printer. Now at this point I should say that these new printers have a web page interface. If you know the IP address and the right port number you can enter this in your browser and look at the printers settings and manage them. We used that before to troubleshoot printing problems. However now our printer supplier put a password form over this to prevent companies from getting to these settings. So we tell the tech person we believe the printer is not set to print to the closest paper size but to force everything to the default paper size. After some discussion they agree we are correct. Now for the really fun part. Not only are we locked out but so is the tech! His credentials do not have the power to make these changes. The IT Director told them at this point they had to stay here until it was fixed. As we left the building around 6 pm we could hear the tech arguing desperately with his support system begging for the credentials to fix this issue. The user told me they ended up having to get a tech from the big city about two hours away to drive up here and enter the credentials and resolve the issue. For the record when we did our last ERP upgrade this process got ported to .NET and done correctly. Its nice to have a budget beyond zero... [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 31 Aug 2018 01:45 PM PDT At work today I had a user with an issue with their file. The issue is lack of common sense. Ticket came in with the title "HELP" oh lord me$ = Me, obviously
I checked with the analyst. We both laughed. Nothing can be done.
no reply from smh$ Please save your files people. (edits because of typos and formatting trouble) [link] [comments]  |
| IT won't help me with my problem ( but I won't talk to them ) Posted: 31 Aug 2018 06:16 AM PDT When I was working at $regional_bank, I was a Tier 1 helpdesk employee. As a Tier 1, I was on a rotation with the other T1's for after hours support. Basically, about once every 6 weeks, I'd carry the Helpdesk Blackberry for a week. It was fairly unusual to get after hours calls unless there was some sort of emergency. I had been working with the bank for a couple of years and I had a solid reputation as a problem fixer. I routinely had double the number of closed tickets each month as the next T1 tech, my customer satisfaction was high, my bosses were pleased with me... I handled a couple of minor emergencies with aplomb, things were going well. I take my turn in the rotation to carry the Blackberry, thinking it would be another boring week. Boring is GOOD. The after hours phone was set up a little weird. If you called the number, you got an automated system that would prompt you to press 1 to leave an URGENT voicemail or press 2 to leave a NONURGENT voicemail. After an URGENT voicemail was left, the phone would ring and notify you. If the issue was nonurgent, you would get a silent notifcation that you had received a voicemail. For urgent voicemails, you were expected to respond within 15 minutes. If you did not respond within 15 minutes, your supervisor received a notification. If you did not respond within 30 minutes, your supervisor received an automated call. For nonurgent voicemails, you were expected to respond within 24 hours. On day 1 of my turn carrying the after hours phone, I get a nonurgent voicemail at 8pm. Remember, this is a silent notification with a required response time of 24 hours. I notice the notification around 10pm and call the user. She claims that she is able to print fine during business hours but is unable to print after 6pm. I try to ask some questions and walk her through some basic troubleshooting, but she's having none of it. She says she doesn't have time to do this, she has work to do, and I should just fix the problem. So, I poke around for a while, but can't really find anything. I get tier 2, and the bu involved, but they can't find anything either. At 8am the next morning, my boss is fielding a call from a furious user that says we refused to help her and asking why it took so long to get a response. My boss looks at the logs and sees that it was a nonurgent voicemail and lets the user know that she should have left an URGENT voicemail. An hour or so later, he fields another call, this time from the user's supervisor asking what's going on. I got network infrastructure, systems infrastructure, and the business unit involved and none of us could find anything. The branch's server was rebooted and some logging enabled and we waited. Around 10pm that night, the blackberry notifies me that I have an urgent voicemail. It's the same user. So, I tried to call her back on the number she left. There's no answer. I sign into sharepoint and get her work cell number, her office number, the main number for the branch, and her personal cell number. The user won't answer my phone calls to ANY number. I left voicemails on every number that I could, texted the user, and emailed the user. After exhausting ALL of those and receiving no response, I then emailed my boss and her supervisor. Every night for the rest of the week, this pattern repeated itself. I get an URGENT voicemail from the user, and then she completely ignores any and all attempts at communication. My boss gets calls every morning about IT not helping her with her problem. However, every morning my boss also gets documentation from me of all my attempts to contact the user. The calls from the blackberry are easily shown. The emails are in my sent items. The voicemails can be verified. After an entire week of this, the user's supervisor calls me to apologize personally... but tells me that the user will not suffer any repercussions because she is one of the top sales people. I quit not too long after that... [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 31 Aug 2018 11:46 AM PDT So I'm pretty new on a school district Telecom and whatever else manager position. Main front receptionist wants to use a bluetooth handset for the main phone. This is a Mitel DECT cordless unit to be used on a Mitel 5360 phone. The handset is discontinued. So anyways this handset was paired with another phone and since the receptionist phone is attached to our main callflow the Mitel director is stubbornly refusing a phone swap... So I figure I just swap the charging plates and pair the cordless handset with the receptionist phone. Swapping the plates was pretty easy but when I went to pair the handset it just wasn't happening. The proper manual said plainly press and hold the hang up key on the side of the handset for 5 seconds and the LED should blink blue. I try a bunch of times and switch buttons, no dice. Eventually I realize the the hang up key doesn't click like the volume keys. I hook up the corded handset again and go back to my desk to open this thing up. After a couple minutes I find the culprit. There were no key switches behind the rocker cover... You can see the solder points weren't broken. After a minute of WTFing, I Macguyvered a paper clip into position to lay on the 2 leads and sure enough after 5 seconds the LED started blinking Blue. I ran back to the front desk with just the bottom casing and chipset exposed and paired the handset. Reassembled the case and left it on the cradle to charge and be in use. I have no idea who sabotaged this handset(I can guess that maybe Mitel intended this one to only ever be used with the original phone). But I felt proud in bypassing their dumb broken by design concept with just a screw driver and paperclip. [link] [comments]  |
| Thing I actually typed into a ticket, since there is ZERO docs on something Posted: 31 Aug 2018 12:13 PM PDT So, we have a critical LOB application that was written many years back, by someone who left the organization in 2003ish. No documentation of any kind - it was all in her head, and obviously she'd be here forever, so why write anything down? It uses the MS Access 2.0 runtime application to present users with a dashboard that opens various forms for data entry/retreival, all housed in an Access 2.0 .mdb. The way it's coded, all automated attempts at conversion have failed miserably (something with DoCmd statements, if I remember correctly) and stretched as thin as we are, nobody's had the time to either manually update it so it will convert or just manually replicate the system in something modern.
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