How DARE you give me free cancer?! Tech Support |
- How DARE you give me free cancer?!
- Here’s one from the other side of the desk...
- Yes, It's turned on... Tale of the broken POS cash register system...
- The Adventures of Dr. Awesome
- A nice farewell
- Time is Relative
- Cute old woman complies to her best ability.
- Vendor support is the best
| How DARE you give me free cancer?! Posted: 31 Jul 2019 01:18 PM PDT Hello! So this is my very first story i have ever posted here and if i have done anything wrong in the storytelling please let me know. :) I have been working in IT customer service for some years now and I have had my fair share of crazy and stupid people. This story is from a couple of years ago in 2014.I was working for my country's biggest ISP as a customer tech supporter, i was mainly helping people with wired internet. Fiber optics and copper cable aswell as home phones and TV. The company gives a free router to almost all our internet customers that even has a thunder warranty.Before the company had that deal the customers got a simple modem. This will become important later. So i was there answering the phone to one lady late at a friday night about 18:30 o'clock. Me: Hello! My name is OP how can i help you? Lady: About time! do you know how long i have been in queue? why is the queue so long? don't you have enough staff or are you all just lazy? (She was one of those, i did a mental sighs and mustered my regular nice service voice) Note: She had this VERY obnoxious tone in her voice and we very rude. Me: I apologize about the queue time, there has been a major disturbance at a station so alot of people are calling in at the moment. But how may i....(i was interrupted) Lady: I don't care about your excuses! My internet is incredibly slow and my phone has this annoying scraping sound in it! it has been this way since 3 months ago!! Why havent you done anything about it?! Me: I understand, i am sorry that you have experienced a slow internet connection for some time but its important to let us know about that sooner so we can help you. Let me just run a few analytics. (The analisys showed a diversion in the cable, a problem that commonly is caused by units connected home at the customer). I proceeded to tell her: The analytics show me a problem that causes your experienced problem, i need to run a few tests to find exactly where this problem is. Lady: "She huffs". Well okay i can wait but make it quick, i don't have all day! and staying in a call like this makes me feel sick! (Me thinking: Wait.. sick?) Me: How nice of you to help, together we can locate and fix the problem i am sure of it. I need you to pull out all of your units from the internet sockets so i can run the same analisys again to see if i get a different result. But before we do that i need to borrow you mobile phone number so i we can proceed the call from there. Reluctantly and ranting under her breath she gave me her number and we proceeded the call over the MB.She pulled out all the stuff and the troubleshooting showed that her old modem was the cause of the problem.I explained to her that she needed a new one and that its no longer in stock because at the time that modem was over 7 years old. Lady: What do you mean its not in stock?! i want a new one now! Me: It means that the modem has expired from our stock, it is no longer avalible, but we have another free product that we can give to you in its stead. Lady: Mhm fine, i sure hope you can send it to me so i have it by tomorrow. Me: I am afraid that sending this new product to you in such a short notice is impossible due of how the postal service operates. But it will come to the nearest postal service location within 2-3 workdays! Well now she became out of nowhere really mad.She proceeded to loudly yell at me. Lady: NO you will send it to me, to MY mailbox by tomorrow NOT to the postal service office!! I don't care how you do it and i expect not to having to pay anything! this is the least thing you can do for me after making we having to endure such a bad internet connection for 3 months and having me call you and wait in a queue for 30 minutes then do YOUR work so we can find the problem! You WILL make what's nessessary so that i can have it by tomorrow. At this point getting quite upset having her attitude showed in my ear for now about 20 minutes and now she starts screaming at the person helping her? Me really trying to sound nice: Miss, as i said, that is impossible, and we cannot know if your internet is behaving if we never get a notice from you who uses the internet, i can send... (interrupted again) Lady: I said i don't CARE how you make it work!!! JUST MAKE IT WORK! Me: That. is. impossible, i would send it to your mailbox so you would get it by tomorrow if i could. You live approximatly 400km from our storage facility, where the product is sent from and its friday 19 (something) o'clock now. You can expect your package to the nearest postal service location next tuesday or wednesday. Lady: WHAT?! So i will have to wait 4-5 days for it?! This is the worse service ever! *Company* has SUCH a bad customer service!!! (*Company* actuarly has the country's best customer service and best waittime for issue resolvement) Me at the moment had enough of her banchee screetching: Yes. You will have to wait for the package to be delivered. Lady: Ugh... (Went silent for about 5s) I guess we will get nowhere with that.. Me: No, i am sorry that you will have to wait. But i asure you that the new product will solve your problem. lady, somehow now calm?: What exactly is this new product? Me, quite confused by her complete 180: Eugh... its a router that *company* gives away for free to all out internet customers as a free rental product. Lady, again screaming but now completely livid: WHAT?! you're sending ME a router?!HOW DARE YOU?! Don't you know how dangerus those things are?!! i am ALLERGIC TO RADIO SIGNALS!!! Me quite stunned by the next 720 turn in the conversation again: Eh.. Well if you're feeling unconftible with the wifi running, i can turn it of for you. Lady, even more angry... how that by this point is even possible: YOU, Y-YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER MY ROUTER?!!! Me: Well technically its not your router, you borrow it during the time you have inter... (interrupted) Lady: THOSE THINGS ARE DANGERUS AND DEADLY, how can *Company* send out those things FOR FREE when you KNOW how dangerus they are?! do you WANT people to get CANCER?!!! Me: Lady... i assure you that our router meets the european standard wifi regulation.(Silence except for breathing). Me: The wifi signal emitted by thi... (interrupted) Lady: WIFI IS CANCER and cause all manners of sickness! young boy, i am educated and I know ALLOT more than you about these things, i have been reachearching this. Me, now quite fed up with her BS and no longer gives one F: Oh, if you have knowlage about this? then you should know that the radio signal emitted by our router is at standard 2.4Ghz and that radiosignal is non ionizing. Meaning that the radiosignal does not carry enough energy to excite the electrons in the molecules that builds your DNA enough be flung away from the molecule and damage your DNA structure to cause cellular damage. This signal cannot cause cancer. Lady: YOU LIE! (She did not try to correct me) And i want you NOT to send me that POISONBOX!you will have to send me a modem instead! Me: I'm afraid i can't do that.What i just offered you for free as a sulotion to your problem is what we hand out. IF you do not want it, you can feel free to buy your own product from anywhere. Just note that if you do *Company* has no support over the product you have bought outside our company as a sulotion not provided by the ISP to a problem that could have been fixed with *company* products. Lady: So you are now FORCING me to BUY a product at another *company* to have my internet work?! Me: Noone is forcing you, you could have our router for free and let me turn of the wifi. but you denied it and want a product that is no longer avalible. Lady: I will make you the headline of the newspaper, i will report you to the polise for fraud and have you fired!! You are giving away CANCER FOR FREE! WHAT. IS. YOUR. NAME?! (I gave her my name at the start of the call, but i guess she forgot) Me: I do not feel comfortable telling you my name. but you can call be Robert (Far from my actual name) Lady: Do the people at *Company* know who "Robert" is? Me: No. Lady: Wh... what?! WHAT?! Me: If you want us to send you the free product to solve your problem, feel free to call us again. Lady: NO I..(Klick) I think the call duration was about 45 minutes in total and during the time she allways complained about something, it was me, the company, the service, our methods of work and our systems. After the call i told my boss what have happened and she was supportive and told me that i should have hung up sooner than i did and was proud of me for trying to help that nasty customer. She told me that she have overheard some of it and that i did it good. If you want me to post more juicy Tales from techsupport stories i have a couple of more in storage! Just let me know :) [link] [comments]  |
| Here’s one from the other side of the desk... Posted: 01 Aug 2019 12:55 AM PDT So, I was working for a government department at the time, writing libraries for propagation modelling software. For background, I am an electronics (RF) engineer. Arrived at work one morning, turned on desktop PC and went to make coffee. When I came back with coffee a couple of minutes later, smoke was coming out of the PSU fan at the back of the desktop unit so I pulled the power and called support. The support tech insisted that I follow their instructions otherwise they would not be able to get the PC replaced/repaired, so I explained again that lots of smoke was issuing forth when the unit was on. Tech got angry and INSISTED most firmly that I reboot the machine. Me: ok, I have turned it on. Tech: let's just wait for it to boot... Me: some smoke is coming out of the PSU... Tech: ok, ok, don't worry. We shall just let it continue to boot for a minute... Me: quite a lot of smoke is now issuing from the PSU... (I put my jacket on and put the lid on my coffee)... Tech: what's that noise? Is the computer beeping? Me: the noise is the fire alarm so I'm turning off the burning PC and joining in the evacuation of the building now. Tech: ok, call me back later when you get back... TL;DR: support tech tried to burn down a government building. [link] [comments]  |
| Yes, It's turned on... Tale of the broken POS cash register system... Posted: 31 Jul 2019 11:07 AM PDT CB = Me, Codebooker, Private Tech Guy Who Does IT Work RE = Sam (not her real name), the Restaurant Employee, a 30-something-year-old woman who has worked at this restaurant for many years Backstory: I had replaced the cash register system at a restaurant because the old one died unexpectedly and was very old and in need of replacement. Moved the POS software over to a Dell XE2, and got them a new Elo touchscreen monitor that was bigger and brighter than their old one. They were very pleased with this as it was faster and the big screen was nicer. A day after the install I got a call from the restaurant's cashier/bartender who handled when customers came in to eat and when they were ready to pay, so she was the sole user of this POS system during business hours. The restaurant's owner would get on the POS system after hours every day to get sales totals, keep note of this, it'll be important later. What happened next went like this… Cellphone: RINNNNNNG CB: Hey, thanks for calling -business name here- this is Codebooker, how can I help you? RE: Hey Codebooker, It's Sam at -restaurant name- I'm having a problem. CB: Okay, what seems to be the issue? RE: The new cash register system you setup, it isn't working. CB: What do you mean it isn't working? Like specifically what is it doing? RE: The screen is black and when I tap it, nothing happens. CB: Okay, are there any lights on the screen? RE: Yes, a green light in the bottom right corner, it's flashing on and off. CB: Okay, that sounds like the PC isn't on, can you look under the counter for me and tell me if the PC has a green light on it that is lit up? RE: Yes, it does, the light is solid on (note that the XE2 is turned around backwards so the PSU's green light faces you when you look under the counter, it allows easier access to the cables) CB: Have you tried pressing the power button on the back side of the computer, it's a large square button in the top corner. RE: Yes, and nothing happened. CB: And it isn't doing anything when you move the mouse or tap on the keyboard? RE: No, nothing. CB: Are all the cables connected? There shouldn't be any disconnected plugs under there. RE: Yep, everything is hooked up. I don't know what to do, can you just come out here? I have customers starting to come in and I'll be needing the system to cash them out when they leave. CB: Sure, I'll head over as soon as I can. Cellphone: CLICK, end of call So, I dropped what I was working on and hopped in the car and rode 20 minutes over there. I walked in the door of the restaurant and headed behind the counter and as soon as I was behind the counter I noticed that the XE2 was not indeed on, and the PSU light was not lit up. I pressed the power button and the system sprang to life. After about 20 seconds it was booted into Windows and was sitting at the logon screen for the POS software. Then Sam walked over to where I was. RE: Great, you fixed it, and that was really fast too. What was the problem? CB: It was off, all I did was press the power button (motioning to the power button's location). RE: Oh, geez, I feel so stupid. CB: It's all good, it's working now, but why was it off? I thought you guys left it on 24/7. RE: Yeah, we were, I'm not sure. CB: You mind if I take a look? RE: No, go ahead. So, I looked at the Windows Event Logs and saw where it was shutdown properly right around the time that the owner checks each day's sales totals. He must have turned it off after he got the totals. So I rebooted the PC into the BIOS and set it to auto-boot 30 minutes before they open each day, then I left and drove back to what I was working on before the call. I haven't had an issue with them since… tl;dr Restaurant employee couldn't figure out why POS system wasn't working… It was just turned off… [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 31 Jul 2019 05:31 AM PDT A more lighthearted tale from healthcare IT. One day, I got called up to med/surg to help Dr. Awesome. Dr. Awesome was an ex-Army combat surgeon with multiple tours in Iraqistan under his belt. He was always laid back, amazing under pressure, and well respected by everyone. I don't think I ever saw him raise his voice to anyone and he was always very courteous with his patients. In short, the dude was awesome. Seems he was having trouble viewing his charts. No big deal, just have to reinstall the ActiveX control. Five minute job, easy. I go up there and say hello. As I'm sitting in front of the PC clicking away, he pipes up.
I'm just nodding and smiling as enthusiastically as I can. Best summary of our situation I've ever heard, and as the owner of a lot of $500 cars, I can vouch for that part too.
My jaw is on the floor. I'm probably not supposed to agree, but he's right, you know. But he's not done yet... Cut to a few days later Dr. Awesome stops by the HD. Seems his laptop needs some help – he's been having trouble charting from home and can't figure out why. He said he'd gladly stick around while I worked on it, so I set him up in the cubicle next to mine and got to work. It was an easy fix – just update his VPN client and reinstall that pesky ActiveX control. I'm tapping away when the phone rings. I look over and it's my boss, ContractorX.
I piped up and answered his question and he hung up, sounding more than a little confused. I was still working on Dr. Awesome's laptop when ContractorX walked in. He saw Awesome sitting next to me and blinked hard. I guess we really threw him for a loop. Maybe he thought he imagined it.
I laughed, Dr. Awesome laughed, ContractorX laughed, the refrigerator laughed, I shot the fridge. All was well. It was a sad day when Dr. Awesome quit. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 01 Aug 2019 12:09 AM PDT This is a short story Bob and his son Rob (actual names because it took me a while to realize they were different people), both very nice people. Bob and Rob both traded on the Johannesburg Stock Exchange and thus used $ChartingSoftware which I was tier 1 support for (the entire tier 1 consisted of me). Three weeks after I had handed in my resignation Bob called in with an issue I hadn't faced yet, so I told him I'd research it and get back to him. I did research the issue and eventually got a configuration that worked on my computer. So on my last day I called Bob and explained the solution to him. He got a bit lost, but luckily Rob was visiting so he handed the phone to Rob and the two of us fixed the issue. I told him that I was leaving and we chatted about that for a moment, he was sorry to see me go, but wished me luck. Then he handed the phone back to Bob so we could chat about about me leaving, he was sorry to see me go, but wished me luck. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 31 Jul 2019 10:54 AM PDT Short and silly user story: I worked as a CRM admin for a couple of years and spent a lot of time doing support for end-users regarding application-specific problems. The salespeople were always the neediest users. One of my favorite scenarios unfolded thusly: Salesguy: Sends email complaining about a perceived problem. This is something he has brought up before. It isn't a problem and is merely how the system works based upon the rules of the business. Me: Sends a moderately detailed email back describing why the CRM application worked this particular way. Salesguy: Sends a response to the effect of "I don't have time to read this (no doubt bc he had SALES-ING to do!), I'll just come over and talk to you". Me: *waits with bated breath as I hear footsteps grow closer* Salesguy and I begin talking.... Salesguy and I continue talking.... Salesguy and I continue talking.... Salesguy and I continue talking.... 20 or so minutes pass and he leaves basically happy. The point is that it would have taken him no more than 3-5 minutes for him to read my email and get a concise answer. Instead, he chose to talk in circles and get the same answer in a greater amount of time. He didn't have 5 minutes to read an email, but he somehow came up with 20 minutes to talk. Different ways of of consuming information or something I guess... [link] [comments]  |
| Cute old woman complies to her best ability. Posted: 31 Jul 2019 01:44 PM PDT I was in tech support for a large company when a old lady called in and wanted help connecting her computer to the wifi. During the troubleshooting we established wifi connection with WPS, after that i needed her to open a new internet tab to try to connect to a website that controls her connection speed and stability. So i told her "Can you open a new internet window please?" and she complied and told me she had opened a window. in which she told me yes, i have had it open since you asked, but i don't know how it will help. Then i understood, she had opened a real window in the room she was in. Well... she did as i said, sort of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 31 Jul 2019 05:29 AM PDT First time posting here but thought you might like this one: Edited: definitions at the bottom of the post, it would break the flow to explain it in the story. So I am essentially tier 3 support at a managed service provider, anything from on site discovery to rebuilding networks is in my scope. Before going further it should be noted that we inherited this system from their on site IT support before they opted to use a MSP for IT, so alot of the design was out of our control. One of our support techs informs the client of their support contract for the SAN and to request some replacement drives (we verified that all of their VMs were online and that no ESX datastores were offline). Several hours later our monitoring platform alerts us that one of the clients VMs has gone offline. It just so happens to be their file server, so they are appropriately concerned. We look at the SAN (fwiw this SAN is VMWare aware, so it hooks directly to ESX and is aware of its datastores) and see that the file server datastore is inactive and critical. Do some digging and discover that the datastore is essentially like 12 drives in....raid5. There are 2 hot spare drives on the system, but from the logs it looks like the hot spare was correctly engaged, but the datastore still shows offline, even though only 1 drive has failed. At this point our familiarity with this particular brand of SAN is fairly limited and they have a support contract, so we decide to engage their support. At the same time because we have been doing this awhile, we decide I should drive over a 15tb QNAP and get it on their network and begin restoring the file server from backup, this way if vendor support cant bring the datastore back online, we at least have a plan b. So I get the QNAP installed on site, configure an iscsi target and iscsi lun on the device, then configure the ESX cluster to see the iscsi lun as a datastore, point the backup software at the lun and kick it off. The time is now 9:30pm and we figure the restore is going to take around 15 hours (the file server is not all that big, just over 2tb, but the SANs iops (input/output operations per second) are being crushed by array rebuilding and whatever else vendor support is doing, plus the backup data lives on the same SAN because I'm sure budget constraints lead them to believe that was OK. Couple that with a single 1gb nic on the QNAP and you can see there are alot of throttles). Cut to 2:30AM and vendor support is still working on the issue, they had completed their "Equalization" process and were attempting to bring the datastore back online when they decided "hey, we need to turn off iscsi on the LUN.... Up to this point they had been remotely connected to, of all servers, the backup server (which inherently isn't the issue here), and as soon as they issued the command, the backup vm died.....which also killed their connection to the SAN. Turns out the LUN that the file server lives on also houses the entire...backup...array... It is, at the time of writing this, 6:20 am and the sitrep is that an entire LUN is offline, 3 core servers are dead, restores are impossible to perform, and vendor support is, and I kid you not here, typing commands that aren't real into the cli for the SAN multiple times hoping that maybe the second time they issue the exact same command it will work... root@(none) spb:~> server_mount all -bash: server_mount: command not found root@(none) spb:~> server_mount all -bash: server_mount: command not found Maybe third time will be the charm there guys... tl;dr Vendors are idiots and always put your backup data on a different SAN, or at least it's own LUN. Definitions: VMWare Esx - hypervisor platform for hosting virtual machines Datastore - ESX logical data storage for virtual machines SAN - Storage Area Network, basically a large array of disk drives allocated into disk groups to allow for shared storage on servers. Raid5 - redundant array of independent disks, just a logical structure of drives where, in a group of drives, 1 could fail without dataloss. Hotspare - like it sounds, a drive in the SAN that can take over for a drive that fails. Hot meaning the system remains on and spare being spare. QNAP - brand of network attached storage, just a device with drives Iscsi - internet small computer interface, think of it as a digital cable to connect virtual or physical devices to each other over the network Lun - logical unit number, essentially the volume of data contained inside a disk group on a san [link] [comments]  |
| You are subscribed to email updates from Tales From Tech Support. To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
| Google, 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA 94043, United States | |
No comments:
Post a Comment