Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket, conclusion Tech Support |
- Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket, conclusion
- This box doesn't work
- Digital to Physical
- The CD drive swallowed the CD
- Be careful about the nifty features you let clients have.
- But I charged it all night.
- It's the circle of pointing fingers
| Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket, conclusion Posted: 27 Feb 2019 07:33 AM PST Ian's ordering flowers. There's a dark part of me doing the cost-benefit analysis to letting Ian loose. Other than the web pen test, I've got enough to write a decent report, which fulfills our contract. Ian's blowing us up just means no implementation work or referrals and maybe some management-side fireworks which will burn his ass more than mine. I'm not going to intervene. I'm just going to document. I'm writing down my notes from the last meeting as well as a proposal for fixing their AD and catching up on all the work Javier hasn't done. Ian claims to be "almost done" with some findings. Lunch happens. I see a delivery person carrying a bouquet of flowers. They're set up in Betsy's cube, with a fair amount of finger pointing towards the conference room we've been camping in. She's not there yet. Ian's looking up from time to time to see when Betsy notices the flowers. I can't handle the cringe. I'm going to hide in my hotel room and do some work. I pack up and walk out to the parking lot. I find my van and get in it. As I drive out, I see Betsy walking into the office. I roll down my window and wave. She waves back. I stop to talk. Me:"I'm sorry." Betsy:"For last night? You didn't send that email" Me:"No. You'll see" Betsy:"I don't understand" Me:"If you're annoyed, contact $boss- his email address is in the kickoff email" Betsy:"Is there a problem?" Me:"Not to the project. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'll see you tomorrow" Betsy seems a bit puzzled and annoyed. I drive my people hauler back to the hotel. I lie down on the bed and resume drafting our findings and recommendations. We're recommending that INSCO move their payments system into a small enclave that isn't directly connected to the Internet. If they don't like that, we recommend moving all their credit card ops into an iframe so INSCO never sees the credit card information, allowing them to dramatically reduce their burden under PCI. Making everybody use their own account with proper role-based least access as well is going to require some implementation work. This is going to be a pretty easy sale- INSCO can give us their money and problems and we'll make both go away. I take my writeup and email it to Stan, a fellow consultant at my firm who needs work. He's been 'on the bench' for two and a half months, which means there's someone thinking about laying him off to reduce costs. I ask him if my time & effort estimates look right and if he's interested in the work. Stan doesn't bother emailing. He calls me. Normally I'd be annoyed while I'm trying to get work done, but he's probably the sanest person I'll talk to today. Stan:"Hey, LT! Your numbers look good. I'll start working on a plan" me:"I love your enthusiasm, but we haven't sold it yet. I'll put your name in to do it- it's right up your alley and if you need late night help, I'll help out to get you billable" Stan:"Thanks!" I say my good byes and go back to writing. I see that I have an email from Ian- it's a link to a file on our Sharepoint with findings on INSCO's web application. I send the proposal writeup to my boss with a recommendation for Stan. I grab the document without reviewing it and go back to task at hand. I want to get everything else in my report clean so I can just drop in Ian's stuff. I'm a fan of writing and drinking, but I'm out of beer. I take the transporter and pick up appropriate quantities of beer & food, then drive back to the hotel. Walking back from the parking lot, I see Ian sitting at a picnic table. He doesn't look happy. He's not staring at a screen so it must be bad. me:"Hey. How are you doing?" Ian:"Not good. I'm in the friend zone" me:"Um, ok. Has anybody from our firm contacted you about this?" Ian:"No. Betsy hasn't been convinced yet. I should have bought her some jewelry" me:"Jewelry? That's not a good idea" Ian:"How do I convince her? Should I ask her out to dinner?" This requires alcohol. I put a beer in front of Ian and open one for myself. me:"Ian, Betsy isn't one of those dating sim games. I'm sure if she was interested, she'd let you know. It's rude to keep making advances at her job" Ian:"Should I go to her house?" me:"No, that's a worse idea. How about signing up for a dating app? I've heard that might work" Ian (getting annoyed):"So I should just stay in the friend zone" me:"Ian, you're not in the friend zone. You're not her friend. You're here to do a job and vanish. So's mine" My phone rings. My boss wants to talk about the additional work we can pitch INSCO. I wave goodby to Ian and walk to my room. I try to talk up Stan. My boss reminds me that 'Ian's well respected' and that since there's already a relationship with the client, Ian will stay here and do the additional work. me:"I don't think that's a good idea. Ian bought flowers for Betsy, the project sponsor. It's uncomfortable" Boss:"That's just a client expense, like buying a round of drinks" me:"Ok. Just thought you should know. I'll have the deliverable ready for QC tomorrow and I'll be flying back after that." Boss:"Sounds good. Just make sure INSCO will like the report" Fast food and 3.2 beer make for a meal of sadness. Then I read Ian's findings from the web app pen test. Nothing. No vulnerabilities found. I find this hard to believe, given everything else I've seen this week. Well, Ian is 'well respected'. I work fairly late and get everything together in the doc, then send it to another consultant for a peer review. I have a slow start-drinking, dry air and late night deliverable writing can do that. I shower, put on a suit and make my way to INSCO's offices. I have a short meeting with Betsy and some kind of exec who seems bothered that I'm in his building. I try to simplify my findings and recommendations to three or four items. Exec derails me pretty quickly: Exec: "I don't see you mentioning the firewall" me:"I noted you had a few, but they're not a concern for me" Exec:"But it's security" me:"It's a quality firewall, that's for sure, but you have other problems that it doesn't fix" Exec:"So, what do you want to sell us?" me:"I think you need to re-arrange what you already have to fix what we found" Exec:"I don't want to hear that bullshit." me:"Yes, my company would like to sell you more time. I'd like to see you get some real security here for your customers. But I'm not paid a commission for that work. We do pretty good work. If you don't go with us, go with someone. You need the outside help" It's not the best sales pitch, but I wasn't expecting to do one this morning. Betsy walks out with me. I bid goodbye to a few people here, including Javier. Betsy:"Are you coming back to do the implementation?" me:"No, I'm on another engagement next week." Betsy:"Are you taking Ian back with you?" me:"We took separate cars, so not yet. We're in different cities as well" Betsy:"So you rented that big van for yourself?" me:"That's all they had. U-Haul was closed" She laughs. I drive back to the hotel, collect my stuff. I pull in front of the lobby and offer a few passers-by a ride to the airport. I don't get any takers. I get to the airport early, so I take a leisurely meal and write some stories that may have ended up here. I don't see the fireworks until I get back home. Epilogue:
I stayed at that consulting firm for a few more months, doing whatever came in the door, then moved to another job. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 28 Feb 2019 03:51 AM PST After the huge positive turnout from my last story i have decided to post another. This story is from a few months ago, Same job small support team for a large tech company handling mainly networking equipment. Me = Me BM = BoxMan [ The hero we don't need but deserve ] It's a another early morning and eerily quiet, One of those days that you just know something's going to go wrong but you just don't know what yet and then it happens I got call from BM , An elderly kind sounding man. BM : Help! Me : [Opening jargon] BM : Name is BoxMan and I need assistance with this box, It's about 12 x 6 and is frustrating. Me : Certainly but before I can help you can you please provide the serial number of the product in question. BM : Don't see no serial number on this thingies, Can you help me out a little bit? Me : No problem, The serial number would be in [serial number location] It would look like [this]. BM : I'm not quite seeing it here is there any other way to get this "serialed number " [Not a typo, Actual quote] Me : Can you just quickly read off the model number for me? BM : [Model number] Me : Sure let's get this bad boy connected and we can pull it off the interface. BM : Okay I've got it directly on to the computer now. Me : Perfect , To make this easier let's do a remote session [ Talks through how to set up remote session ]. BM : Thanks so much I just can't get these computer thingies to work. Me : No problem at all. [ A minute or so of attempting to connect later ] Me : I can't seem to get connected any way through normal means what is the device currently showing? [ Audible shuffling and moving of large objects] BM : It's just sitting there. Me : Do you see any lights? BM : One moment [ 5 Second pause ] , Yes there are some lights. [ We may even get through this yet, actual info I can use] Me : And which light is flashing? BM : It says HDD. Me : That's odd for [ Network Appliance ], These don't come with any kind of storage, Where specifically are you seeing this? Me : What? BM : Yes it's on my computer, Which is just next to the box. Me : Oh, I'm sorry for the confusion I meant what specific lights are on the box. Me : Right, well let's get something sharp and open up this box then I guess we'll get you connected. [After about five minutes of messing around with the box we finally got it out ,I've got the serial number and and get it connected to the PC.] BM : Okay, So I have internet now.? BM : Y-you're my internet provider, [Angry] This is an internet box, you provide internet. Me : No. BM : Well I payed for the internet box so I want my internet, give me internet and after all that trouble before, I want to better then just the basic. Me : No. BM : You can't just say no, Give me internet. Me : No, we are not an internet provider , We cannot provide you with internet, We don't have it BM : This is outrageous my son has an internet box from you and you provide him internet just fine and I know it's you because I connect my iPad to it and it says [company name]. Me : Right,You just connect to our device but the device doesn't give you internet. BM : Yes it does, if I don't connect to it at my son's house I don't get the internet therefore it gives me the internet. Me : Well I can't fault your logic there , But unfortunately I don't have internet to give you. BM : But let's just get me connected to it and we'll see what happens, I want to get rid of this 'ISP' box and use you. Me : Wait you have 'ISP'? BM : Yes they do my phone and such. Me : Can you connect that extra wire to the box that they gave you. Me : Okay let's just give this a minute [mutes mic and bangs head on desk] Coworker : That bad? [Goes on break, Rests head on desk, Breathes deeply] TLDR: Sometimes, A box is just a box. Let me know if there is any interest in narrating this like the last story, I am always happy to oblige. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 27 Feb 2019 07:06 AM PST In my position, I do both IT as well as Digital Media for a regional newspaper. Pretty much "anything computer related" goes through me. Rep: "Hey ChillyEli, I sent you some advertisements ASAP. Can you set them up in our ad system to display on our website?" I'm excited to share the stories I have from this position. I'm in charge of EVERYTHING digital. I'm all levels of support here so the entertainment never stops. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 27 Feb 2019 02:55 PM PST This dates almost 2 decades when I was doing tech support for a major airline, so I don't remember it so well... Lady calls, says the cd-drive on her computer swallowed the CD she put in. She said that it probably just fell in once the CD was in. I looked at my own CD-Drive, tried to imagine a CD vertically in it, even a mini-CD, yeah no way it fits... so I try to explain it to her but no go. In this case all you can do is send someone to her... Turns out she did not put the CD in the CD drive but just above (or bellow) it, in the cracks of her tower... Obviously I had asked a related question and she had said no. I'm sure I had better but I don't remember. [link] [comments]  |
| Be careful about the nifty features you let clients have. Posted: 27 Feb 2019 08:06 AM PST We have a massive SQL database. The feature in question was simply a boolean search feature that - in the oftenhappens case where records in the database are not correctly filled out by users - you could use this search feature to crawl look through the MSWord or PDF documents attached to a record for the raw, untabled words and phrases to help find what you need. It would even pop up the word or phrase in shiny red and bold in the document to make it easy to see. So, your boolean search string might be "hotel" or "motel" and "new york" not "florida" and with this you'd probably find a bunch of documents that mention hotels and motels in new york. You get the idea. Users loved this feature. It meant they didn't have to understand how SQL tables worked or rely on good admin or anything. Just search for words they reckon someone wrote once somewhere. We took pains to show them how to correctly use it: You can do this against maybe 200 records at a time, so filter down the records you're using this search feature against first. One boolean search at a time. Anything else is bad. Then we sent them on their merry way. Fast forward 6 months (in retrospect, I'm amazed they lasted this long). Bear in mind this feature is a small blip in the radar of regular support and IT issues, so it was forgotten about. One day we're getting hammered from calls by the client and their IT who are experiencing severe repeated crashing across the entire office and perpetual slowness. Much troubleshooting is done, nothing looks particularly amiss at first. IT migrated their users over to another server and they continued to have these same problems in the new environment. So we delve into user behaviour some more. Turns out the original parameters to only use the boolean search as above had been...mistranslated to new members of staff. The new guys were using between 4 and 12 boolean individual search strings at once, e.g. one line for "motel", an entirely new line for "new york", a new line for 'not "florida" ', against the entire database. So against every word in every document across some 30,000 records, 4-12 times per document. Multiple times a day. It took me a long time to explain to the client the difference between a search that looks in the "Location" table for the "City" column for the line that says "New York", versus a search that looks through literally every word in every document in the database for any mention of "New York". TL;DR: Gave the client a jet plane because the car wasn't fast enough, client now confused why jet plane doesn't work like Santa's sled [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 27 Feb 2019 07:33 AM PST Client: I just purchased this computer and it won't turn on. I thought A**** products were suppose to be better! Me: Ma'am, is the computer plugged in now? C: No it is not, I charged it all night in my bedroom and unplugged it this morning and took it out to my kitchen. I pushed the power button and it won't turn on. This is ridiculous for a brand new machine! M: Well, let me try to help you. Let's make sure your charger is working. When you plug it into the computer, does a light come on orange or green on the magnetic plug? C: There is no light and the plug is not magnetic? This thing is a hassle to plug and unplug! M: Which computer did you buy? C: I bought an iM*c and paid a lot of money for it! M: Ma'am, that is a desktop computer not a portable computer. That needs to be plugged in to work. C: How come no one told me that when I bought it? M: I'm not quite sure what to tell you. Feel free to come back into to store and exchange it for a Mcbk Pr, if you need a portable unit. C: Those screens are too small. M: Is there anything else I can do for you? C: Obviously not! Hangs up on me. [link] [comments]  |
| It's the circle of pointing fingers Posted: 27 Feb 2019 09:11 AM PST Today, I received an easy ticket, but excruciatingly frustrating, as I'm sure many of you have experienced this as well. I received this ticket from our Marketing Director ($MD from now on) about receiving a perceived network error when trying to access a specific resource on our company website. Cast: $Me - the network admin for our organization $MD - Marketing director, who pretends to know what he's talking about regularly $MC - external marketing company, who hosts our website Ticket reads: Good morning $Me, it appears we may have a network problem. We're getting an error when using $link on $page. I spoke with $MC, and they think it's a network issue on our end. Could you please examine? Thanks $MD Alright, maybe there's a redirect that our web filter is blocking... Go, test $link, get the same error. Go test the alternate link, works fine. Both links are supposed to go to the same location. Hover mouse over link - target addresses are different. Respond on ticket: Sorry, $MD, I have to say I disagree strongly with $MC. This appears to be a broken link. Since I don't have access to make edits to the public website, I will leave this in the capable hands of $MC and yourself to resolve. Have a great rest of the week, $Me Why must we go through this all the time? A says it's B's problem. B says it's C's problem, and C says it's A's problem. It's the circle of life in our world I guess. [link] [comments]  |
| You are subscribed to email updates from Tales From Tech Support. To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
| Google, 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA 94043, United States | |
No comments:
Post a Comment