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    Saturday, February 2, 2019

    First Name: Trash, Last Name:Bin4 Tech Support

    First Name: Trash, Last Name:Bin4 Tech Support


    First Name: Trash, Last Name:Bin4

    Posted: 01 Feb 2019 04:00 PM PST

    In my past job I worked to support medical billing software. We were the last stop for pretty much all data in the system since paying your bill is the last thing you do. This also meant any problems from other areas often flowed down to us to deal with.

    I received a ticket for a patient visit that was showing classic signs of a failed person combine. The people who work in patient registration often end up creating multiple instances of the same patient or hospital visit(known as an encounter); when this is caught, they use the registration software to combine patients or encounters, which inactivates one "from" database entry and moves the associated data to the "to" entry. These combines fail all the time.

    I tried to rerun the combine, which works about 50% of the time and it fails. I do some digging and decide to look at the two patients on a hunch, the from patient is named something normal, the to patient is named Trash Bin4.

    Well, that's weird. I create an audit to find any other patients named some variant of Trash Bin, around 30 get returned. I then create an audit to find all the combines with a patient named trash bin and my SQL query times out after 10 minutes.

    After some more digging, I find out that two users, Gail N and Gail N(old), have been combining patients into fake patients named Trash Bin for 10 years. This leaves patient data trapped inactive, and has been done to thousand of patients. The dollar amount of trapped charges was well into six figures that had never been billed out.

    Considering that the button to delete a patient is in the same menu as to combine one, I couldn't figure out whether the user thought she was deleting patients or committing some kind of fraud.

    Last I heard our manager was going to have a call with the hospital's CFO.

    submitted by /u/Mithridel
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    The black webcam with red flashes

    Posted: 01 Feb 2019 05:20 PM PST

    Context: I'm a L1 tech fairly new to IT (first IT job, been there for 5 months); I work in a really big company (the biggest in its domain albeit not in America) and do internal support for our employees.

    This was one of my first issues when I started working during my first month, and sure showed me how users can truly be dumb.

    $me = Yours truly

    $WL = Webcam lady, aka the one having the issue.

    ---------------------

    $me: [Standard greetings]

    $WL: My webcam won't work

    Don't we all love users who barely describe their problems and make us have to extrapolate more data?

    $me: What do you mean exactly?

    $WL: It simply won't show anything.

    $me: With which software does it happen?

    $WL: It happens with [a videoconference software we use]

    $me: Does it happen with any other software?

    $WL: It's the only one I'm using with my webcam

    At this point I can't tell if it's a program's configuration issue or just plain old driver corruption; thus, in order to get more info myself, I go inside her PC.

    Now, our remote software only shows one monitor at a time, so you have to cycle through them.

    I ask the lady to show me the issue, and surely enough, the videoconference software really shows the webcam as being completely black.

    Before I could think of anything, I see a red flash coming through the webcam for like a second.

    Then I click: when I went on her PC, she had 3 monitors, two with content on it, and one with the wallpaper; most of our users only have two.

    $me: $WL, can you lift the laptop's lid?

    Suuuuurely enough, I can magically see $WC's face on the software.

    Many of our users have docked laptops, but most of them use the laptop's plus an additional monitor, but this one was closing her laptop's lid and only used two extra monitors.

    $WL: Ooooooooh

    $me: From now on, when you want to use your webcam, lift the lid.

    *hangs up after generic closure*

    That's how I learned that, sometimes, you gotta keep it simple yet stupid and not overthink too much when met with issues.

    submitted by /u/FrenchRocks69
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    No, CCing in other management doesn't get things done any faster

    Posted: 01 Feb 2019 10:57 AM PST

    We've all seen it: $(L)user thinks their problem is urgent because they refused to do their due diligence ahead of time and now they're up against a time crunch. Their computer, obviously being a long lost early precursor to Skynet, decides NOW would be a good time to balk and magically stops working for whatever reason. They just know that it's laughing at them behind its beady little pixels and since $me is the resident Sentient Belligerent Machine (SBM) tamer, they believe that their emergency should automatically be my first, and only, priority - so they resort, with a rather shockingly ham-fisted lack of subtlety, to trying to use the threat of management oversight to force my hand.

    Cast of characters:

    $(L)user - lone hayseed in far flung branch, too busy to learn that computer crap
    $me - sha'boi, the SysAdmin and resident SBM
    $CARKS - Crap Ancient Record Keeping Software - software that my company has been too busy/cheap to update for 16 years (no joke!)
    $TS - Terminal server

    It's end of month, there or abouts, so accounting is, collectively, busy scrambling to both walk and chew gum at the same time, while also attempting to pull its own head out of its 3rd point of contact, simultaneously. Branches are supposed to get their numbers in a few days ahead of time so accounting can do a final tally, but that rarely happens.

    So, I get an email with the following: "When one of you guys gets in, can someone look at my system? $CARKS is locked up and when I reboot my computer locks up, too." He's sent it to $me, the IT Manager, the COO, and the GM. I get in at 6am every day like clockwork, the same time he does, and I am ALWAYS quick about responding to issues. It's kind of my thing.

    A little background: Our version of $CARKS is 3 generations behind, dating back to 2003, and is not actually installed on his computer. It runs on the $TS, which he has to log in to before he can even get to $CARKS. Unfortunately, most in our organization don't get the distinction, assuming that the logging in to the $TS through Remote Desktop is just part of the $CARKS program, meaning, in their minds, that it must be a part of their computer.

    A little more background: We've been asking folks for years to not simply "X" out of their terminal server sessions, but to actually sign out of them every night instead. In fact, every few months we send out reminder emails that explain the importance of doing this, shows them how to do it correctly, and why it should be done. However, as I'm sure you've all experienced in your own companies, no one actually reads IT's missives and (L)users just continue to blithely do as they wish. This leaves their session on the server open for days- and sometimes weeks- at a time.

    So, I responded to this particular $(L)user's email, asking him to create a ticket so I would have some information from him before I called, and to be ready to answer said call from me in a few minutes. I never heard back from him, so tried to follow up a few minutes later with the forecasted phone call. No answer, straight to voicemail. I try a couple of more times with the same result and decide to head out for a quick smoke in the interim.

    When I get back, $(L)user has called twice. Before calling him back, I decided to quickly shadow his session on the $TS and, sure enough, $CARKS was, in fact, unresponsive due to several error dialogues that were waiting to be dismissed in the background. He had not actually rebooted his computer. He had instead, and true to form, merely X-ed out of his $TS session, leaving it running behind the scenes, and when he logged back in, of course, the issue was still there. He literally didn't know the difference.

    So, I cleared the multitude of backed up errors for him and was able to close $CARKS and sign him out of his session. Upon finally speaking with him by phone and a using our remote helpdesk solution, I showed him, once again, how to correctly sign out of the $TS, educated him again on why this was important, explained what the problem had been, and reminded him how to put in tickets for problems like this in the future instead of simply relying on email or calling. I am aware that $(L)user won't remember any of this, since we have told him all this before and he has continued to disregard because he doesn't understand any of it, but at least I made the effort.

    TL;DR - Don't you hate when $(L)users CC others in authority, thinking that will make you jump to their demands faster?

    A LACK OF PLANNING ON YOUR PART DOES NOT CONSTITUTE AN EMERGENCY ON MINE

    submitted by /u/Lord_Jereth
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    "urgent means urgent no matter what!"

    Posted: 01 Feb 2019 06:07 AM PST

    i need to stop posting these...

    background: i'm in a subcontracted L1 help desk. i do L1 stuff for other MSPs. sometimes we get calls for tickets that were handled by MSP directly. this is one of those stories.

    for the record, 99% of our clients are, at the very least, polite.

    $PL - pissy lady, not a big wig thankfully

    $me - ya boi

    $MSP - guy working for our partner MSP

    $me: thanks for calling help desk! this is $me speaking, [infogatheringhere]

    $PL (in a snarky tone): you won't need that, check your tickets.

    $me: i'm sorry, i don't see any tickets in your name, please hold one moment [checking MSP board]

    $PL: well that's just rude... i'd assume if a ticket has "urgent" in it, i'd expect it to be taken care of immediately!

    $me internally: yeah no this is just your scan to email on one specific printer not working, you have other ones in the office at your disposal you're full of [otherwordfordoodoo]

    $me: it seems so /s . how long have you been awaiting a call back?

    $PL: three days! that's ridiculous!

    $me internally: but you emailed this ticket in an hour and a half ago

    $me: please hold, i'll go ahead and contact [MSP] to make sure this gets expedited, one moment.

    $me: hey $MSP, i have $PL on hold right now, she emailed a ticket with "urgent" in the title an hour and a half ago and expects to be treated like a queen prompt service. she lied about the time she put in the ticket as well, just thought i'd let you know.

    $MSP: laughs thanks $me. send us a copy of the call, and i'll make sure she doesn't do this again. tell her i'll call her in an hour.

    $me: will do!

    two hours later, i get an updated note to the ticket from $MSP that goes as following:

    "$PL, please do not lie to our Help Desk. They are trying to help and this slows them down. We've also sent you a ticket severity matrix for you to follow. Please follow it accordingly from this moment forward."

    i love it when decent manners are chosen over customer service.

    submitted by /u/durpflip
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    "What else can we try?"

    Posted: 01 Feb 2019 07:23 PM PST

    It was Friday, my very last day in the completely awful IT department of a very large computer company. I loved the job, but hated the managers, who made life for us completely miserable. We dealt with hardware and software and servers and all kinds of stuff. BTW, SAP, I still hate you.

    A "VIP" call comes in, and he's having a hardware issue. His computer won't boot up.

    Me: "Have you tried to turn it off and back on again?"

    VIP: "Yes, I've tried that, and here are the 10 other things I've tried."

    Good user, nice user, I like you. He had tried all the basic stuff already, so I could get right to the more difficult time consuming stuff. We get to the point where it's obviously a very dead solid state drive, since he can boot fine from his external drive, so I let him know that he should contact his manager so they could order him a new laptop.

    He tells me to look him up in the directory, so I could see who his manager is, and...oh, no. Poor man. The manager who everyone is afraid of. Then he tells me that he has data on the drive that was apparently not automatically backed up as it should have been, so there's stuff on the drive that is quite "business critical." Great. "What else can we try?" he says.

    I can do basic drive recovery stuff, no problem, but I let him know that solid state drives sometimes crash and burn and are not recoverable. He asks me to do everything I can. I look at the clock. An hour to go before I'm out of there forever. SURE I CAN DO THAT! :-D

    He's a patient, very nice user, so I go way above and beyond to try and get the data. I even walked him through taking the drive out of the laptop so he can try it in his enclosure. No dice. It's dead as a door nail. I refer him to the data recovery company we use, and apologize that I wasn't able to get his data for him. He was very gracious, and even gave me a commendation. That was nice.

    As I was cleaning up my desk for the last time before I left, I printed out the commendation the VIP sent me, and went to HR to pick up the $25 gift card you get for getting a commendation. They flatly refused to give it to me, saying that since it was my last day, and I was off work, I was out of luck.

    Me: "Shall I call the VIP who gave me the award and let him know that you won't give it to me? I just got off the phone with him, so I'm sure he'll be happy to talk to you about it." /shows her the printout with the VIP's name and department on it.

    HR: "Oh, um, no, please don't, that's ok I'll give it to you."

    Shiny $25 gift card in hand, I walk out of there for the last time, feeling pretty good.

    submitted by /u/suulia
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    Oh, I don't know nothing about that.

    Posted: 01 Feb 2019 02:20 PM PST

    Note: The grammatical configuration of quoted statements have been cleaned up as to maintain readability.

    Plot foundation: I work for a huge 2200+ employee medical facility. Just about every department in our facility uses $MedicalSoftware as a portal to information in their specific departments. Even the people who walk around and change the garbages use $MedicalSoftware to track where they've been and where they need to go.

    Me: Hello, this is IT, how can I help you?

    Caller: Yes. My husband is a new hire, and he's trying to get into $MedicalSoftware from home. How do he go about doing that?

    Me: Were you given an access link?

    Caller: A what now? A link? Like for a webpage?

    Me: Yes. It's a VPN link to download a small application and then you authenticate to it and it lets you into the hospital.

    Caller: Oh no. I don't have that. I just have the <company website> link here and I can't find the $MedicalSoftware on there anywhere.

    Me: Yes ma'am, that's right. $MedicalSoftware is secure and wouldn't have public access.

    Caller: Oh. So how do he go about getting on $MedicalSoftware?

    Me: Well, what is your husband's job title? What does he do?

    Caller: He's a floor tech with EVS.

    Me: A floor tech? A floor tech wouldn't need outside access to $MedicalSoftware. He can access it from his terminal at work.

    Caller: Oh, they said he can access it from the outside.

    Me: Is he a manager or something?

    Caller: No, he just started today and he said he should be able to see it from home.

    Me: For what? To see who is waxing what hallway at what time? While he's off the clock? That doesn't make any sense.

    Caller: (talking in background) He said he needs to see his paystub.

    Me: But he just started today? He wouldn't have one of those yet.

    Caller: Oh, he said he wanted to check his tax papers.

    Me: That's not even remotely a check stub. You'd have to call HR regardless, that isn't something that $MedicalSoftware can do.

    Caller: Oh, so you can't help me?

    Me: I can definitely help you. By letting you know that you are trying to accomplish something that cannot be accomplished.

    Caller: Well the doctors access $MedicalSoftware from outside the hospital, right?

    Me: Doctors also don't wax floors.

    Caller: <click>

    TL;DR: User tried to have outside facility access to a program that is highly secure, and contains a lot of medical data, for no reason, at all.

    submitted by /u/Hello_This_Is_IT
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    We really need to make more innovative mice

    Posted: 01 Feb 2019 12:30 PM PST

    I currently do IT for a company that has about 80 employees across 5 offices. Most of the people who work here are roughly 47-65 years old. Some users in our office have 2 computers(windows 7 for older programs and windows 10 for everything else)

    $UML - Unhappy mouse lady

    $me - ya boi

    $UML :hey $me can you come to my office im having an issue with my mouse and computer i cant copy and paste any more.

    $me :okay let me just finish up this other job ticket that I'm finishing up and I'll get right to you, also in the future could you make a job ticket when you have IT problems. The data we gather from job tickets is really valuable.

    I get to her office 15 minutes later

    $UML : About time you showed up I've been waiting forever and I have so many deadlines that i needed to finish before 3 and its already 1. Ive been having problems since this morning.

    $me : I'm sorry I had to finish helping the person before you plus they made a ticket and followed our policy about job tickets. Also if you were having problems since this morning why didnt you make a ticket earlier.

    $UML : I didn't have time. Just fix my problem so I can meet my deadlines.

    I have $UML recreate the problem. $UML was copying something on her windows 7 computer with her Logitech mouse and she would remove the receiver on her windows 7 computer. Then plug it into the windows 10 computer and attempt to hit paste but the option for paste would be grayed out . I was honestly baffled that anyone would think this would work

    $UML : See my computers are both broken. Your job is to make sure our computers work 24/7 and mine isnt working which means you are not doing your job.

    $me : $UML your computer isnt broken you are just not doing this the proper way let me show you how to get files from your windows 7 computer onto your windows 10 computer.

    At this point I plug her mouse back into the WIN7 computer paste the things she copied into her network shared drive (X:) that is on both her WIN7 and Win10 computer. At this point I explain to her that her mouse receiver isn't a flash drive and that it cant store date on it, but she doesn't want to accept that .

    $UML : what do you mean its not a flash drive its shaped and looks just like a flash drive.*at this point she pulls out a flash drive and compares the 2 *

    $me : Even though they are identical they are not the same you cant copy something on one computer then un plug the receiver for that mouse then plug it into a different computer. When you copy something the stuff you copy is stored in memory on the computer you copied it on not the mouse

    $UML : Well you need to order us some better mice or make a program that allows people to do it my way because that way seems so much smarter vs doing that other way.

    So if anyone wants to help me design a mouse that can copy and paste the way $UML thinks it should work please DM me

    submitted by /u/blacksteve13
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    I’m not IT, but somehow I am IT

    Posted: 01 Feb 2019 06:06 PM PST

    I work in a very small med clinic (two doctors, maybe a resident, myself and the other receptionist/admin.) I usually can handle most problems that rear their ugly heads, but sometimes I need to call in. No problem, I can manage. BUT, the stupid effing mandatory password resets are going to drive me insane. My other co-worker REFUSES to remember or (complete sin I know) write down her new password and security answers. She thinks she's being clever by giving "opposite" answers. No, dear, you aren't, because you NEVER REMEMBER YOUR ANSWERS. I'm sorry, but write them down you twit. She actually got busted by our main doc when she was asked to access a patient file, and had to go the loooooong way around. Doc suggested that in the future she let me keep track of her passwords and security answers. But what really irritated me a bit more (like I haven't been irritated for the last two years of this stupidity) is that when she called in to the main site, the told her that she could just keep doing it the long way, and never even offered to reset her stuff. I was a bit choked, because now it means that I will have to access the site for the doc (who ALSO has done the same thing). They claim they didn't know that they had to verify the new password every time, but I have told them, shown them, kill me now. It's a right click. JUST DO IT!

    Sorry if this is silly, but it drives me crazy every three months. I hate mandatory password resets. If you want to be secure, don't make idiots try to remember something new every three months, it is a guaranteed failure.

    submitted by /u/Kathryn999
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    Security Breach!

    Posted: 01 Feb 2019 09:22 AM PST

    Asst to Dean: AtD

    Service Tech: ST

    The AtD comes to the help desk in a frantic manner and right away says :

    AtD: "There's been a security breach! I need a ST to come to the Dean's office immediately!!!!

    ST and AtD go to the Dean's office, where the AtD sits down at their desk and pulls up Doodle (in fucking IE...). When ST asks why they are using Doodle, AtD indicates that scheduling things via Outlook's calendar system is "too hard" and Doodle is easier. Whatever.

    AtD says that earlier they were unable to schedule anything via Doodle, but thought that they had heard of another service that the University provided. Meetme.com or something like that. They said that when they went to this site, it asked for their name, email address, phone number, date of birth, and gender. Now, those things individually might be okay, but gender through ST off for a second, until the AtD goes to their other tab that already had [meetme.com] opened and signed in... it's a dating/hookup site.

    The AtD is panicking, saying that there are "old dudes" all over their screen. ST suggested that they just close the tab.

    AtD: "But the dudes!"

    ST: "yeah, just close the tab"

    AtD, waving mouse all over the screen: "the dudes!"

    ST: "Yup. You can just close the tab. It's the X near the top"

    This goes back and forth a few times, but the AtD finally closed the tab. Then AtD realizes that they had given their work email to this website. AtD turns to ST and asked whether ST could get their email out of the meetme.com system.

    ST stares at AtD for 5 seconds. "No."

    Almost, as if on queue, several emails show up in AtD's inbox. AtD continue to panic. ST shows how to block the sender.

    AtD: "Good thing I'm married, or this would be really embarrassing!"

    Shout out to /u/YourCrush on the laughter of the week for the office!

    submitted by /u/samjoe89
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