!!! Abandon hope all ye who enter this filesystem. Tech Support |
- !!! Abandon hope all ye who enter this filesystem.
- Never go fully hipster
- Tales from $MSP - Language Barriers
- Dang printers! If you keep hitting print It'll work eventually right? (another beer for work tale at my local market)
- I Love the Smell of Hot Paper in the Morning
- Backups are important!
- Circular reasoning works because circular reasoning works because...
- The server of the damned (possibly NSFL for sysadmins).
- A PC without Wifi is like making a Pizza without dough.
- toys that interfere with the internet.
| !!! Abandon hope all ye who enter this filesystem. Posted: 01 Jul 2021 06:35 AM PDT I bet a non-zero number of you already have a good guess as to how this tale will end based on the title alone. But for those of you who don't, heed my warning and do not repeat my mistake. Like many offices, mine was a realm of those who have rejected corporate values by yielding to nasty emails or violent outbursts, or by perverting their human intellect to fraud or malice against their IT department. You know, the usual stuff. But one day my coworker, who we'll call Virgil, came to me with a very simple problem.
But little did I realize the events I had set in motion... A few days later there came a rumbling from deep within the bowels of the office. YDAQ, GET IN HERE. Crap.
And so I did. Boss was happy her file was at the top of the list. And all was well, for about three days...
The exclamation marks spread across the shared drive like locusts through a wheat field. There was no stopping them until some paths ended up exceeding the 255 character limit and even then, it only stemmed the tide. The eventual "solution" was that only my boss was allowed to use exclamation marks outside her own folder, but there was no victory that day. I don't know what that company's folder structure looks like now, but I suspect my life is better for that fact. TL;DR: Tried to help, created Pandæmonium instead. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 30 Jun 2021 10:25 PM PDT In my company we have a special attitude to people buying non-typical equipment. Everyone is buying Latitude 5510 for work and you ordered a Lenovo Y540 ? Fine, but we'll keep an eye on you. You insisted on working on an OKI printer, instead of a traditional Brother? Don't expect service to be as smooth as usual, parts DO NEED to travel form across the world. This one guy ordered a Lenovo Legion 5. With a GTX 1660Ti. For work. His explanation was ' I'm a trainer, I'm creating a lot of presentations in different programs,I need to have a powerful device, while stil being mobal as I tend to travel across the country. ' Fair enough. The laptop took one week to arrive, the basic configuration was simple. BUT. His programs took yet another week to install, as we have a very strict policy about licences, which btw. were over a decade old, the activation codes where stored somewhere on the manufacturer's server, and what's even worse - finding the installation files was a nightmare. Sadly, this is just the beginning. Three months in, the customer complains that the thin plastic frame around the screen has cracked. He sends us in a picture, and there cleary is a crack. We have two options - either take his only tool for work away and send it to the manufacturer for a replacement, or order the part and repace it ourselves. He chose option number 2. That simple part, just a screen frame, took ONE MONTH to arrive. In the meantime, another crack appeared on the original frame. Finally, I've got both the laptop and the frame on my desk. I start popping the damn thing off and realize it's glued to the screen itself. Obviously, this is yet another hindrance, but I manage to remove most of the glue and apply the new frame. Now, being a bit lazy, I decide not to glue the new piece in, as it might crack again in the future (or even better - the glue held it so tight, that some forces form slight bending the screen as you closed it - stubborn hinges - might have caused the initial crack). Next day, the customer arrives. He is a very much pedantic man and would like to know everything about the repair. So I go on to explaining what I've done, and he rudely interrupts me with a 'Why on earth would somebody glued the bloody thing in? What a stupid idea!' and looked me in the eyes as if it was my fault. I immediately parry this with 'You see, this is not your typical business laptop. This device is ment to be used by gamers and normally gamers don't care much about tiny cracks on one piece of plastic, that they dont even notice". That shuts him up for good. He takes his laptop, gives me a stare saying 'sorry to trouble you' and walks away. Fast forward another two weeks and... There is a new crack. Now, I don't know much about material science, but this type of plastic must have been made to last very short and crack like leather exposed to sun for a long time. And guess who got politely told to bugger off with his non-important issue with the laptop? TL;DR. Dude bought a gaming laptop for work and complained the parts and the repair weren't as fast and easy as on a business laptop. [link] [comments]  |
| Tales from $MSP - Language Barriers Posted: 01 Jul 2021 03:48 AM PDT Greetings TFTS! It's been a long time. Much has changed in the land of $MSP, including parent companies selling us off to stay afloat, adjusting to working from home permanently thanks to the pandemic, but most importantly - I finally got promoted from Senior Helpdesk Guy to Applications Guy. Gone are the days of rota patterns and taking phone calls from irate customers - now I do on-call rotas, and my interactions with irate customers are in Teams meetings instead, where I can *see* how angry they are! But I digress. I was inspired to post this bite-sized tale when my wife noticed a peculiar Google search in my open tabs. I told her this story, and now I'm sharing it with you all. Enjoy! --------- "Hooray for set working hours," I think to myself, noting the time as 5.15pm and relishing the fact that there are fifteen minutes til I can finally escape the madness that is working Applications for $MSP. My kids are screaming at each other in the room beyond my home office, audible even over noise-cancelling headphones with the volume up loud, but there is little I can do to save $MrsOzy from their aural assault until I finish work. I wasn't playing Fallout 4 for the umpteenth time - honest. Anyway - I'm distracted from my My eyes flick down to the clock below the prompt. 5.17pm. Damn it. I swap my headsets over and answer his call, quite reluctantly. Now that I'm out of the Helpdesk for good, I suddenly understand why folks got cranky with me calling them just before they finish work for the day - far too often, you wind up working well past finishing time on something that could probably wait til morning. "Ahoy hoy," I say into the mic, "How's it going, $HelpdeskGuy?" We small-talk for a bit - the usual complaints about the pandemic, isn't it crazy it's been x months since we've been in an office, et cetera, et cetera. "Look man," $HelpdeskGuy says, clearly wanting to get off the phone, "I'm sorry for calling you this close to finishing time, but I've got this really weird issue in Exchange that I can't figure out. Normally I'd call $ExchangeGuy but he's not on-call." I don't blame him. Exchange is not my strong suit - I can do bits and pieces, likely more than the average grunt, but $ExchangeGuy is a wizard. He's also my direct superior, but that's a different story. "I mean, I'll see what I can do to help," I say, eyes flicking back to the clock again. 5.23pm. "So, I've got this user, who's complaining that his calendar permissions are all wrong. Folk seeing entries that they shouldn't, people who should see all details only seeing free/busy. He's given me a list of permission changes to make, but here's the thing - he doesn't have a calendar." I blink. "What do you mean he doesn't have a calendar?" I say, fearing the worst - profile corruption, some kind of weird bug with the user's mailbox perhaps? Worst of all, something that will take longer than seven minutes to fix? "Well," says he, "When I run the command to get calendar permissions, it tells me that the folder doesn't exist. But I've seen screenshots, and he definitely has a calendar. I can't figure it out." Screaming internally, I quickly jump into the Exchange server and fire up the management shell. $HelpdeskGuy kindly obliges when I ask him for the user's email address, and I run Get-MailboxFolderPermissions as I normally would. <UserA>@$MSP.bin:\Calendar does not exist. "That's... really fuckin' weird," I mutter into the mic, "Why doesn't this guy have a -" And that's when I look at the email address again, and it clicks. That's not one of our UK users - that's a European user. A quick Google search confirms my suspicions. I amend my Get-MailboxFolderPermissions command and boom - result. "Got it," I say to $HelpdeskGuy, "He does have a calendar, I've just got it when I run the command." "What? How?" "Do me a favour - do a quick google search for "Dutch word for Calendar..." There is a brief silence, followed by the faint tapping of a mechanical keyboard, followed by: "You have got to be fucking kidding me..." I look at the clock. 5:29pm, and the day is saved. ------------------------ Tl;dr: Different countries have different words for things. Who knew? [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 30 Jun 2021 11:26 PM PDT So My local market is great. Great deli.. also a liquor store and all the stuff you need .. local vegies. It's great. I go in there and load up on some stuff .. check out.. and the owner (my buddy) comes in and says 'hey my printer won't print.. but it will copy.. I need to print out employee schedules bigtime .. want to have a look?' (no I really don't as I've got shit to do and FUCK PRINTERS but wtf right? he's a buddy) SO I look on this epson multi function sucker which is showing an error 'out of paper', but he hits the 'copy' button which scans and copies whatever is on the scanner bed and it works. Hmm. I open up the paper tray door (which is full of paper and looks OK) and notice his plant has a leaf stuck in it.. like when you close the door this plant is in the way so it's shoved in there. I move the plant away a bit.. slam the door shut then 10000 of his print jobs come spitting out.. he's like OH NO.. so I get in the spool and kill most of them. I'm like dude.. if it isn't printing don't keep sending it more print commands ;) And move your goddam plant (which must have screwed up the sensor or something.. not sure, but after that it worked) 5 min fix.. half case of Sierra Nevada I go home man I hate printers. [link] [comments]  |
| I Love the Smell of Hot Paper in the Morning Posted: 30 Jun 2021 01:27 PM PDT I'm sitting in my office, pretending to do work, when a coworker stops by my office. They tell me that a long report has been printing on the main printer for a few minutes and isn't stopping. I take a look at the print queue, but the job's gone already, so we both head down to the printer to see what's up. Sure enough, there's what amounts to a hot ream of paper sitting in the out tray, with more pages coming after it. I cancel the print (there's a big button on the printer screen that says CANCEL JOB – this will be important for later) and I take a look at some of the printed papers. It's customer related charges (info that is usually secured), and there's a lot of it. No one is coming out to claim their newly printed tree, so I begin the process of finding out who it the culprit was. I ask a few of the offices around, but no one fesses up. I'm worried no one will at all, until I round the corner of our newest Program Manager's office. He's red, embarrassed red. I'm sure he could hear me asking down the hallway, getting closer and closer to him. Me: "Hey, did you print something from the system?" I ask, pretending like I can't feel the heat coming off of him. Him: "Yeah…I printed it by accident." Me: "…okay…" Him: "Yeah, and uh, I didn't know how to cancel the job." I blink and in a few seconds of silence, I scream in my head: "You didn't see the large CANCEL JOB button OR think to ask someone? You were just going to let 400 pages of quasi-confidential information print out for no reason?" Instead, I said, "Please let me know as soon as possible the next time something like this happens. The job can be cancelled right on the printer." He nodded, I dumped the stack of paper in the shredder bin on my way back to my office, and I mentally removed him from my "People Who Have Two Brain Cells to Rub Together" list. [link] [comments]  |
| Posted: 30 Jun 2021 01:39 PM PDT Hi there. Been lurking this subreddit for some time, so I have decided today to make my first post. My background:I work in retail, 16 years and counting. I have the sole responsibility for the hardware/tech department (office equipment, laptops, monitors, printers etc) as well as returns and complaints. This might sound like a lot for some, but considering our store is in a town with "only" about 30k inhabitants I'm not drowning in work. I don't have any formal education related to computers, mostly been facing a problem and learning how to solve it as they show up. This story takes place in 2012, so I have a few years of experience troubleshooting various PC problems. Enter stage left: female with a laptop-case on her shoulder, and a smile on her face. Center stage: Me with all the spotlights directly on me. Fleeing stage right: All my co-workers. FC - Female customer Me - yours truly. Me: Hi, welcome to <storename>, how can I help you? FC: Hi, I've heard from a friend that you sell and computers? Me: Yes we do, are you looking to buy one? FC: Maybe, but I have my problem with my computer. Do you repair computers that are bought somewhere else? Me: That depends on the problem, and wether or not your computer still have a valid warranty. FC: Oh, it's more than 4 years old so I'm not so worried about that. I bought it from <otherstore> but they could only reinstall, and since I don't have any backups of personal files I can't do that. My friend also spoke very highly of you and how you solved their problem. Me: Can you describe what problem you are experiencing? FC: I can't log in. It worked fine yesterday but today it just won't work. Me: Ok, we can atleast take a look and see if its a quick fix. FC hands me the laptop, and I place it on the counter so we both see the screen. Press the power button and hear the fans start spinning, getting 1 bios beep and then see the brand logo light up on the screen. After 2-3 seconds it disappear, screen stays black longer than usual, and at this point I start to realize whats wrong. It's not a quick fix. Me: have it always taken this long after showing the logo? FC: No, normally it have brought up the log in screen after a few seconds. At this point I'm starting to suspect a corrupt windows install or HDD failure. Me: Do you know if your computer installed any updates last time you used it? FC: I turned it off last night, I didn't pay attention but it did take alot longer than usual to shut down. Me: Ok, so I suspect there is one or more updates that have corrupted the windows install. The only thin I can try to do is the same as <otherstore> and reinstall. Having said that, I looked up from the screen. Tears are streaming down her face. Now I don't know about you, but me - facing a crying woman - I did not know what to do or say. I just stood there looking at her, afraid to say anything or do something wrong. FC: Is there absolutely nothing you can do? Me: Based on my knowledge and the equipment I have`right now, I'm afraid not. Based on your reaction I assume there is something really important on your computer? FC: Yes, I have a lot of pictures and some documents. But most important is the research I've done on my family. Me: Genealogy? (<- Google translate norwegian-> english, hope it makes sense) FC: Yes! At this point I realize why she is so upset. My dad spent several years doing the same thing for our family, going back hundreds of years. Knowing how much work was connected with this kind of research, I couldn't let FC leave our store without atleast some hope of getting her files back. Especially since her friend (also a customer at our store) had sent her to me. Me: what software did you use? FC: <softwarename> Me: I'm not familiar with that myself, but my dad uses the same software. I tell you what, I don't have the neccessary tools here today. But if you want you can leave your laptop here, I'll log the service case as usual so you get your service reciept. Tomorrow I'll bring in tools from home, but I need yours and my managers go-ahead to use them. I'm fairly certain they might help atleast recover the files you need. I have used them successfully before on a friends laptop, as long the HDD in your laptop is working fine it should work. FC: yes yes yes please do it, whatever it takes! So I finish up the papework with FC and she leave the store. My manager passed us while FC was crying and asked me what was going on. After giving him the short version and asking if he was OK with me using personal tools on customers PC he said "you don't need to ask me about that, do what it takes!" I finish work, go home and check that my tools are actually working on my computer. Works fine.I call my dad, catch up a bit and tell him about FC, her laptop and the software she used. He could tell me the software used a database file stored on the HDD to store all the data from <softwarename>. Nice, all set. Now I just need to figure out where that file is located and we're good. Right? I'm so glad Google exists, wouldn't be able to figure it out without it. Next day, I arrive at work and immediately start working on FC's computer. I insert my tool - USB flashdrive with knoppix live - and press the power button. Same procedure as when FC dropped her laptop, all fine until screen is black again. Now I'm starting to sweat a little. Palm - meet forehead! I forgot to check the Boot priority in BIOS...Sure enough, USB is dead last on the list. Having fixed that knoppix starts booting. Takes a while. I'm starting to sweat a little more. Screen goes black. Stays black for an unusual amount of time. I'm gonna need a new shirt soon. Knoppix desktop finally decide to show up. I navigate to the point I can access the HDD contents, and double-click the HDD icon. All the folders show up, as far I can tell the HDD is working normally. I find the folder for <softwarename> and copy the entire folder to my USB drive. I also grab the documents and pictures folder as they are small enough to fit on my USB drive. I turn off the PC, take the USB flash drive to my work desktop to verify the files are actually on the flash drive. They are. After resetting the laptop with the built in factory reset, I reinstall <softwarename>, place the database file where it should be. Also put the Pictures and Documents folders where they belong. Call FC and tell her I'm done and for her to return to our store to pick up her laptop. Not even 15 minutes later: FC: Hi! Me: *turns around, sees FC* Oh, hey. You got here fast! FC: Yes, I couldn't wait! I bring the laptop and let FC turn it on. Boots like it should, and automaticly logs in since I didn't set a password. From this point on I move away so I don't see whats on the screen. Me: please try to open your documents and pictures folder and verify it's all there. After a few clicks FC can confirm her pictures and documents looks just like she is used to. Me: excellent! please open <softwarename> and verify all the data is there. After a few more clicks, I see her cover her mouth with her hands. Tears start streaming.She looks up from the screen. FC: it's all there! OH MY GOD IT'S ALL THERE! Me: are you sure? FC: YES! COME HERE! FC then grabs one of my arms, pulling me towards her and wraps her arms around me giving me a hug. Not wanting to make it awkward I hug her back. For a good 10-15 seconds she is crying, I'm getting emotional myself and there's 2 coworkers and some customers nearby wondering what the f### is going on. FC: How much do I owe you? Me: *rough estimates calculations in my head* Lets see, I spent about 2 hours total so lets say $50. FC: *staring at me* are you serious? thats way to cheap! I'll pay double! I insist! Me: Oh, thats very generous of you but..... FC: Double it! End of story: She did pay twice what I asked, and after finishing the paperwork and giving FC a crash course on how to use USB flash drives and online storage as backup she left the store. TL;DR:windows wouldn't start, managed to recover files, reset windows and made a happy customer. [link] [comments]  |
| Circular reasoning works because circular reasoning works because... Posted: 30 Jun 2021 12:44 PM PDT Came across this gem today while trying to clean up some old tickets that have been lying around for far too long, and haven't stopped laughing about it yet. Figured it give everyone here a good laugh too. User calls the service desk, reports having issues connecting to Citrix. Agent does standard troubleshooting, still not working, so it gets sent to Tier 2 for further assistance. Except, there is a key piece of information missing. A very key piece. Perhaps, the most important part of all - the F$!%*&G name of the user! Now, our ticketing system is a hot piece of jank, so if you don't put the user's name in the correct spot, it defaults it to the agent who made the ticket (because reasons, I don't get nearly paid enough to make those decisions). So naturally, Tier 2 sent it right back, because they have no way of contacting the user having the issue, and to re-escalate with the correct information. Agent realized their mistake, updated the ticket properly, and the end-user got their help, right? Come now, it wouldn't be a TFTS story if it ended there! When the ticket comes back, a different agent picks it up, and Luckily, I grabbed it the third time around, so we can get off this ride now. Well, except for the inevitable conversions those two agents are going to need about proper documentation. But those kinds of conversations require a special kind of drink, and I'm pretty thirsty right about now. [link] [comments]  |
| The server of the damned (possibly NSFL for sysadmins). Posted: 30 Jun 2021 04:59 AM PDT Basdically, this is a tale from the darker corners of the network. In the time when wiping a HD cost money, and you needed it done well..... Other ways were taught.... ways more powerfull, but heretical. It started with a server for the trainees, to run test things on. Within weeks, the server was filthy..... Then one person noticed how wouldn't it be real nice to set up a proper training equipment for the trainees, where they could be taught about raids and such? So,m the base setup that was agreed upon was to take two servers, One and two, and set them aside from the rest of the room. Take the most shit performing servers, and stack them up with old drives. Stack them up with old drives, because we had enough of those, and the resale value is shit anyways..... Next came the question, how to raid them? The answer was to let the trainees set this up, so they had something where if it burst on fire nobody would be surprised. Then came the idea. We have so many HD's that we pay good money to have professionally erased.... is there no better way to make sure the data can no longer be read? This is when this took a turn for the worse. Because you see, those Servers were formated as a massive raid 12. Two times a six raid, one on each server. One acting as a fallback of the other. YES, we went there. Now, what does it do now? well, when you have a HD that needs to be absolutely positively cleansed, it gets send there. The trainees will feed it into the array, and it will stay there untill it needs to be carried out. I have seen those drives. They don't even pass the sata check. They have been continuqal;ly running, being rewritten, untill the drive devellops a mechanical fault. The trainees use this as their personal server. Download podcasts, linux, steam library.... The more often the servers contents change, the better. And if there is the situation that we have too many HD's that need to be securely deleted..... They just Pull the oldest drive, put it at the bottom of the stack, slot in the new drive, and watch as the RAID begins to rebuild itself. It is positively barbaric, and i do not know who originally came up with that system.... Buit when I lay awake at night, and have a nightmare of work, You know what I am dreaming of. If there is an IT god, let it be known I tried to disapprove, but was overruled. [link] [comments]  |
| A PC without Wifi is like making a Pizza without dough. Posted: 01 Jul 2021 11:33 AM PDT A few years ago a customer purchased a PC from one of our stores and called in because he was unable to connect via the Wifi: Me: Thank you for calling Computers. How may I help you today? Pizza Chef: Yes, I've purchased a computer and I'm having trouble connecting to Wifi Me: I'm sorry to hear that. So I can see what you have can you provide me with your systems ID number. PC: Sure it's XXXXXXXX Me: looks at system info and noticed the system doesn't include any wifi Looks like your system doesn't come with any sort of Wifi built into the system. Right now in order to connect to the internet, you'll need to use an ethernet cable for now, or purchase either an internal PCIE Wifi card or a USB Wifi adapter. PC: What do you mean it doesn't have wifi? It's 2018. I even read online that 90% of all computers sold all come with Wifi. You just sold me a defective computer. Me: That may be true that a lot of systems nowadays are sold with wifi, it still means that there are some that don't come with wifi built in, which would mean your computer is in that 10%. PC: While explaining this, customer was trying to find more articles to prove his theory but only ended up debunking him further Look, I just found another article that says 77%. Building a computer without Wifi is like making a Pizza without dough. It's completely useless. Admit you sold me a defective PC Me: There's nothing really defective about it as not having Wifi doesn't make it defective. Also, Wifi is not necessary for the PC to work as it's more of an add on topping like olives, which isn't required to be on a pizza. After all that he threatened to return it for a refund but never followed through. [link] [comments]  |
| toys that interfere with the internet. Posted: 30 Jun 2021 05:02 AM PDT it's been a while since I postet the last story. I actually wanted to make it a weekly thing, but let's just say I am too deep into the coding section as I am a bloody beginner and eager to learn. anyway, let's start with 2 short stories. these are both not mine, but stories been told during training as an example of crazy ass things that can happen during the job. I am going to tell them the way they have been told us. So actually as short as possible, lol. First story: This story was told as an example of how vigerously we must search for possible devices that interfere with the functionality with the internet. some time ago before our training, in some part of my city, people called in routinously to tell the company their internet, TV, and home was either seriously slapped to the point of nearly dying or was dead already. the issue took place over several minutes a day, more often than once a day. nobody was able to find a fault. it took some weeks, until our techs found an interference was distrubing the whole fricking area constantly. it took more weeks, even months, to close onto the culprit: it was a 20-something dude that was a regular gamer. With a microwave oven. next to his router. And he made food every now and then between raids, so he doesn't need to get into the kitchen. In short, everytime this man took a raid break, he made himself some food from the ingredience of his mini fridge (that thing was a normal small fridge, that also stood dangerously close to the router, adding to the problem), threw into the microwave and zapping the signal in his whole neighbourhood and beyond. he got slapped with a hefty fine from the company for the amount of work, compensations and some other fees. TL:DR: lazy gamer dude took a good part of a 400K large city off their entertainment. Second story: A bit like the above, but oh boy.... So, people calling in of their wireless stopping to work. After some time, it turns out, all the people calling in had their wify stopped at the exact same time during the day. So they had swarmed out some of our tech to check wth is going on. And it is hard to say this, cause I am still in disbelief..... It was a drone. Yes. a drone. Not a bee, but those toys. for some reason, every day at the exact same time a drone flew buy. and the signal the drone got to be operated kicked the wifi into desubscribing function. I really don't know if it's that bad, but if it was a long range drone, it's possible. And I think, if they followed the trail of malfunctioning wifi, they'd been able to get the person responsible dor this and slapped them with a fat sticker of fines, too. But I don't know the outcome of that. they prolly got the tech a shotgun to get it down once and for all. TL;DR: toy killed the internet point 12 am once a day. Techs probably killed the toy by gunshot. Edit: So guys, I feel the need to hook you up with some info of the technology I was working with (and some other stuff) here are 2 links: internet via coax / TV access port Story 1 took place somewhat between 2000 (maybe earlier) and 2010. That's when the company first changed names. Everything is copper based here. this shit is literally from the 1930's and beyond. No shit. We are getting glass fiber since maybe 2018 on a larger and more regular scale. and even then it's mostly copper leading from the street into seperate apartments. I don't know about how believable story 2 is. I just thought it's funny. Which is why I told it that way. We have strict weapon rules and yes....I thought you should know that. [link] [comments]  |
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